Would it surprise you to learn that there are hints about our traumas in our astrological charts? I’m still surprised by this, but also comforted. To know that where various stars and planets sit in our charts may provide clues or even answers about our childhoods, mother and/or father wounds, how we react to systems in our lives, what lights us up, and more is extremely calming to me.
It re-affirms that my soul chose this lifetime, this body, my parents, my ancestry, and these lessons to heal and grow in this incarnation. This conversation with psychological astrologer Jeremy Tan is a deep dive into how we can move out of trauma and into purpose by taking a look at our charts and nurturing our Inner Child.
As a Psychological Astrologer and a Purpose Coach, Jeremy supports his clients on their journey to reparent inner-child wounds and release the emotional attachment to past trauma so that they can begin to safely embody and express their Unique Purpose. His signature 6-Weeks From Trauma to Purpose Program incorporates the modalities of Astrology, NLP techniques and Embodiment Practices to facilitate transformation on the cognitive, emotional and behavioral level. At the heart of his work, Jeremy hopes to inspire others that they can be the Parental Figure they always wanted for themselves but never had.
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- The Body Keeps the Score by Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk
In this episode, psychological astrologer Jeremy Tan and I…
- explain how a person’s natal chart can indicate the types of struggles they may experience
- discuss astrology as a tool to explore the topic of Inner Child wounds and developmental trauma
- share Jeremy’s 4-step healing process to identify, release, replace, and embody
- discuss triggers, trauma, and the archetypes of astrology
- talk about how astrology fits into the re-parenting process
- discuss toxic masculinity and how it’s keeping many men stuck instead of exploring their emotions and healing
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Hi, and welcome back. Thank you for joining me. I’m honored that you could be doing anything else with your time right now, and you’re choosing to spend it here. Listening and healing and investing into yourself and into living a conscious and empowered. Life. So pat yourself on the back. You’re doing awesome things. Thanks for being here.
I just got home from Utah. I’ve never been to Utah before. It was my first time. And actually it was my second time to the Southwest. I used to have a great aunt who lived in Phoenix. And when I was about nine years old or 10 years old, I remember my mom. And my baby brother and I flew to Phoenix to visit my aunt Geneva and my uncle Ted.
And I don’t remember much about that trip except that my aunt Geneva had. Orange Sherbert and sugar cookies as a snack, like every single day. And both my aunt and my uncle smoked like, like chain smoked. And they had a grapefruit tree in their backyard and I’d never seen a fruit tree before. And so being able to pull a great fruit off the tree and just eat, it was the coolest thing ever, even though I don’t even like grapefruits, I was just mesmerized by the fact that there were these like beautiful yellowish orange balls growing on this tree. And it was right in their backyard. And I was just enthralled by that. So this will be, this will be my second time to the Southwest.
But my first time ever. To Utah. And I like. Just had the most beautiful time. Um, I went for personal reasons. I just needed to get some space. I haven’t gone anywhere. That’s more than like three hours from my house since. Late 2019, like Christmas of 2019 was the last time I went really anywhere. So it’s been like 18 months since I’ve been outside my radius. And so.
I went by myself. Um, I had a lovely time and it’s beautiful. I don’t want to live there, but it’s so beautiful. I’m not meant for desert living, but. I’m so grateful that I had the opportunity to go. And I’m also so grateful to be back. So. Thank you for being here. I have a lovely, lovely treat for you today. I am interviewing my Instagram friend and.
Healer and astrologer Jeremy tan. So let me tell you about Jeremy. Jeremy is a psychological astrologer and a purpose coach, and he supports his clients on their journey to reparent inner child wounds and release the emotional attachment to past trauma so that they can begin to safely and body and express their unique purpose. His signature six week from trauma to purpose program incorporates the modalities of astrology neuro-linguistic programming techniques and embodiment practices to facilitate.
Transformation on the cognitive, emotional and behavioral levels at the heart of his work, Jeremy hopes to inspire others so that they can be the parental figure they always wanted for themselves, but never had. You were going to love this conversation. Jeremy is so sweet and. I want to tell you how I discovered him. So I don’t know anything about astrology. I’ve said that multiple times on the podcast.
But I have worked with an astrologer, Tammy Antoinette. She has been on the podcast now, uh, two times. And she’s going to be coming on again on the summer solstice. And what I know about astrology I’ve learned from her, or I’ve like learned from Instagram. Um, and I’m not at a place in my life where I really have the time or the energy to invest in a lot of astrological knowledge. And so that’s something that I’m more than happy to go out and have somebody else teach me about, or tell me, like, just read my chart and tell me what it says. Tell me what I need to know. Whatever’s important. That’s what I want you to tell me.
Um, and so when I came across Jeremy, I was so intrigued by his approach because I’d never heard of a psychological astrologer before. And I just looked at a few of his posts and I was like, Hmm, this guy’s onto something. I want to have him on the podcast. So I reached out to him on Instagram, by a DM.
And he said, I don’t know if I’m going to be a good fit for your listeners or not. Let’s do a natal reading for you. And I can kind of go through my process with you and your chart, and then you can decide if I’ll be a good fit for your audience. And I said, okay, that sounds great. I mean, I’m not going to say no to more astrological readings, you know?
So he and I met on zoom and. What I expected would be like a 30 minute discovery call.
Turned into like two hours and we connected on so many levels. I can’t even explain to you how energetically connected. I felt to Jeremy. It was like during our call, I knew I was supposed to meet this person. I knew that Jeremy and I were supposed to cross paths in this lifetime. And. I don’t know if it was city friends or for him to come on the show or what? Maybe all of it. I hope all of it.
But it was just a really deep connection. So. In this episode with Jeremy, we are talking about how a person’s natal chart can indicate the types of struggles they may experience in this lifetime. We discussed astrology as a tool to explore the topic of inner child wounds and developmental trauma. Jeremy shares his four step healing process.
Four. Releasing identifying, replacing, and embodying our purpose. We discussed triggers trauma and the archetypes of astrology. We talk about how astrology fits into the reparenting process. And we discuss embodiments of the future. And where there’s also discussion about toxic masculinity and how it’s keeping many men stuck instead of helping them explore their emotions and healing and why.
Jeremy’s clients are primarily women, but he very, very much wants to work with men. So I really hope you enjoyed this episode as much as I enjoyed recording it for you.
Hello, Jeremy, welcome to the holistic trauma healing podcast. Thanks for being here. Hi, density is such a huge pleasure. Thank you so much for having me here. Yeah, absolutely. So you are a psychological astrologer. What does that mean? Okay, so basically I practice astrology, but I look at astrology to a very trauma informed lens.
When I look at a natal chart, what I’m looking at is, first of all, your planetary placements and what are they telling me about how your childhood was like, and what was some belief systems of behaviors that you might have adapted based on how your early childhood experiences were like, okay.
So are you saying then that based upon the position of the stars and planets in a person’s chart that can indicate. The types of trauma that they may have experienced early in their childhood or throughout their life. Is that what you’re saying? Yep. Yep. So I think one thing to take note of is that the language of astrology is occupied people.
So for example, I don’t really want to go too technical, but I’ll just give you a brief example. For example, if we were to look at relationships or how one adepts or responses to a relationship, we will tend to look at Venus or the seventh house in the natal chart. So the seven house and Venus are teams associated with how one perceives love once how one values love in a relationship.
And often times the sign in which Venus is in will demonstrate, what your emotion needs are in a relationship or how, what are their preferences in a relationship and, modern often I see it’s so interesting because I’m starting to realize how we talk a little bit about attachment parents as well.
I think in one of our previous chats and I’m starting to realize about how often times your joint, the relationships that mirror, that of our earliest relationships with our parents as well, because we’re just so drawn to the familiar. So I think when it comes to astrology, I’m really interested in examining patterns that are recovering in our, present state of being.
And how has it been a pattern before, even when we were kids are, or in some majors are sold, like how have we inherited these patents from our parents’ conditionings in the past. Okay. So that’s a little bit about what you do, how in the world did you get into this? Okay. I’ll share a little bit about what it was like for me growing up.
I can situate . How astrology found me in that sense. So growing up for me I always felt as though I had an absent father figure don’t get me wrong. He has always been around it’s just that he was really upset and he doesn’t really say much. We barely have conversations as I was growing up as well.
I’m the middle child, so I have two siblings, one older and one younger. And then my mom is in the center. Growing up, it always felt as though my entire family was so heavily dependent on my mum. And I think I’ve always wanted somebody there to affirm me, to make me feel as though I was enough.
And I wanted that. Validation too few as though, like whatever efforts I was going to put in where it’s my achievements, my successes. I just want that somebody there to say that it was enough, but as I mentioned, because I had a episode for a, what I realized was that throughout my entire life, I was constantly being caught in this pattern of looking for authority figures.
Whereas my supervisors, whether it’s my teachers to prove myself through. So they’re like a few enough. And it was somehow some kind of pattern for me and my entire life. I always felt as though I was trying to fill this hole inside me to feel somewhat enough. And it was doing this part time, I think it was in university, right?
So there was three or four years ago for me on where I found my teacher, so may seem so she’s a astrology based in Singapore. And she had started selling Academy and I was one of the first few apprentices that she actually had when she started out at Academy. And when I found that astrology, it became this language for me that as I dove even deeper, I finally understood the patterns that was ongoing my child and. No. It’s not those developmental trauma that I had because I have absent parent or neglect in that sense where my emotion need for recognition for validation, information was never really met. And this wound was something that was constantly being projected outwards.
Just a few as though enough to my efforts, my achievements and was hoping that there was a guide, there was a mentor, there was a photo vigor and the authority figures that I was constantly trying to get a permission from. Yeah, so that was how I actually found astrology and I found so much healing.
I felt so seen validated by this system, and this is also why I felt so extremely motivated to further develop my practice in my craft. So that I can really bridge the gap between like right now, my, my interest is really about how can I marry, Astrology to get over certain psychological frameworks, like attachment theory, or if we are looking at trauma and to really see if there are ways in which does the natal chart give us insight into how another system is actually wired based on your early childhood experiences. And yeah. So that’s what I really am drawn to at this point with astrology. That’s really fascinating.
I know one of the things that you do as a psychological astrologer is you explore inner child wounds and developmental trauma. So , when you’re working with a client, how do you take what’s on their chart and explain that to them, and then integrate that with inner child healing and developmental trauma in a way that brings like healing to those things.
So if I look at what the healing process is for me, , I look at it in four steps. The first one is to identify what the wound is, what the patterns in human patterns in your life are. So I think that’s where our strategy comes into play, where it’s a system, it’s a language where we start to understand, why are you the way you are?
For example, I mentioned a little bit of Venus, like if your Venus is in Scorpio, so that the the book and the potential here is that your relationships can be very can be wrought with a lot of power struggles. Why? Because, growing up for you, you could be accept experienced a parent who turned love on a switch, like I could give and receive love to you based on my mood.
So I think it’s very reminiscent to this organized attachment pattern. So that’s how, like SRG has a system, as a language, allows us to identify where our areas in our lives that we felt as to our emotional needs weren’t really met, or we felt. I’m so drawn to this chaotic realm of whether it’s love, whether it’s relationship.
And I think the second step here is once we identify those patterns, I need a second step is to release that emotional attachment to those patterns, right? So this is done. And so I have a six week trauma to purpose coaching program. So in one of my sessions, I actually get my clients to to do a guided visualization exercise, where to go back to a time in the past where a particular memory or traumatic incident actually happened.
And they are going to view it from a top parties perspective. And right after they revisit the scene of the past, they are going to go to the younger self and to play the parent that they always wanted for themselves. But they never have. And to say things to themselves, like whether it’s the suit them or whether to let them know it’s okay, we can move on from this incident.
So thereby allowing them to do business closure, because I think a lot of trauma healing from trauma, it’s about finding context behind why it actually happened and to be safe. Closure. And we talk a lot about how the nervous system is in a way hijacked, right? When there’s trauma and there’s lingering emotions that goes unresolved.
And I think a lot about it, it’s about, like shaking it off or finding closure and finding release. And I think one of those exercises is to to go back to the past and to really say things that you’ve always wanted to hear. They always need that to yourself. And that is how I would repair it, a release that emotional attachment.
So this is number two. So the third step here will be once you’ve released the emotional attachment is to replace it with a new pattern. So the way I look at it is that I will replace the trauma better with upper perspective. So why I often I’ll usually see and purpose has two sides of the same coin.
So if you think about how, in classic CBD practice, it’s always having a thought leads to emotion and emotional disturbed action and behavior and this the result. But what I’m starting to realize is that oftentimes we cognitively know that we need to change a part. But for some reason we just let’s back into old patterns of thinking why?
Because it’s because we tend, we have yet to question, where are we identifying that doc from? So have you, or your thoughts being identified, are your thoughts being identified with trauma? Because if it’s, if it is so then, because if you have an emotional attachment to trauma, then your thoughts or emotional actions will be aligned, will be from a reaction of fear, your insecurity, right?
Whereas if you’re going to identify your thoughts, emotions, action, with your purpose, and that’s where you start to have more empowering thoughts, more empowering emotions, and therefore empowering actions as well. So the way I look at it is to replace that pattern, the trauma better with a purpose, but then instead, and last of all, once you’ve identified what your purpose is, I think it’s about finding ways to embody and express more of it.
So that you’re. You’re constantly living out your purpose and that prevents you from lapsing back into patterns of the pus. Wow. That’s a lot, man. We could do a whole episode just on that four-step healing process. No, don’t be sorry. It’s great, man. It’s so great. I do want to revisit though this releasing of emotional attachment, that, that step two that you mentioned in your process for people, a lot of people with trauma have amnesia like we don’t remember because we disassociated and we’d detached ourselves from those incidents in our lives.
And so I personally have large blocks of time that I just don’t remember what happened. So how. And of course I do have some really big incidences that I can remember. And I feel like I’ve done a pretty good job of working through those things, but sometimes I think the more subtle, like the sort of every day atmosphere of our home, the the passive aggressive behavior of our mother or the narcissistic behavior of a father or daily bullying at school, like something like that’s it’s the water you’re swimming in?
It’s not necessarily like the big, like your house burned down or your somebody died or something like that. So how do you deal with those, like underlying more subtle forms of of trauma that people don’t necessarily even realize? Remember? I think this is a very good question. I think cognitively, even though we might not remember the incident, but I think our bodies, do you remember?
Oh, our body keeps the score. It’s how our nervous system just starts that no emotional charge we didn’t ask and we need to find ways to release it. And I think in that sense, when I get my clients to visualize that time in the past, I’m not asking them to visualize it in perfect memory. I think it’s about what does it feel like for you and to really get into that emotional state, but from a business perspective.
So you’re not attached to it. You’re looking at it from our observer’s perspective and to really reconcile those emotions and let it play out and just let it complete, you see it to completion in a way. So it’s just creating a space for them to really they don’t need the exec memory to, to release it.
It’s really getting the sense of, okay. Like perhaps this was a seed, so it could be an aftermath. For example, we give a example of. People pleasing, and I think just going back to the incident where you and mom were there and you felt as though you just did something wrong or the people pleasing thing was wrong.
So you go back to the kind of person where your kid and you felt as though you did something wrong. What would you say to her? What would you say to mom that you have wanted to say back then? So that’s the general idea of it. So it’s not the specific memory at times, if I’m not able to to remember it, but it’s about getting the gist of what happened before.
Yeah. Yeah. So can I use an example from my own life and see how you would use astrology to help me move through this? This has to do with my mom and I just want everyone listening to know that my mom and I have actually had conversations about this and we’ve moved through a lot of healing together.
So I want everyone listening to know I’m not like outing my mom here. So one of the things that my mom did pretty consistently, whenever I was a kid was to give me the silent treatment. And I don’t remember specific incidences, as you said, but I can remember the pattern and it was that.
Like I would get off the bus after school and I would walk into my house and because I was a people pleaser and because I was raised to like always be looking for ways to help I would walk in, I would set my stuff down and before I started my homework, before I got a snack, before I did anything, I would ask my mom, is there anything I can do to help?
And usually my mom would be in the kitchen and she would be either getting dinner ready or unloading some groceries or like whatever. And many times I would walk in and I would say, Hey mom, is there anything I can do to help? And she like, literally would not respond to me. And so I would ask again, thinking maybe she didn’t hear me.
Hey mom, is there anything I can do to help? And she would not respond or maybe she would shrug or maybe she would just give a very distant no. Just like that. And I would immediately like think, Oh my gosh, she’s mad at me. I’ve done something wrong. And so then I would ask, is everything okay?
Have I done something wrong? And her answer would often be no, it’s fine. But she was still like, not looking at me, like not turning around and engaging with me. Like her body language is very much like she was trying to assert that, like she was doing this thing, whatever it was. And she was completely unaffected by my presence there.
And so then my little mind, and my little body would just go into this whirlwind of, I would actually go back to the last time that I had seen my mother that day, which was in the morning before I left for school, I would try to think back, did I do something wrong before I left for school?
What happened this morning? What am I missing? And I would immediately because she was acting this way towards me. And so I always assumed it was like I had done something wrong and she was. Letting me know that I had done something wrong, but in this very passive, aggressive, silent treatment sort of way.
And so that happened a lot whenever I was a kid. And so then I would find myself like, because she wouldn’t tell me what was wrong and she was just behaving this way. Then I would go into performance mode and people pleasing mode. And so I would just like, if I was going to help with dinner before I would go help with dinner and then I would try to clean the whole house.
Or, like I would try to go over and above to like, show her that, Hey, I’m doing these things I’m worthy of your love and attention. I just want everything to be okay. If me cleaning the house or washing the dishes or babysitting my little brother, if those things will make everything okay between you and me, then I will do whatever it takes because I must’ve done something wrong.
I don’t know what it is, but I’m just going to do whatever to make it right. And very often, like whatever was wrong with her. Didn’t have anything to do with me. Like it was a fight that she and my dad had earlier in the day, or she’d gotten a big bill in the mail that she wasn’t expecting. And she was like, upset about that.
And so as an adult now, like where I find myself is if I text somebody or call somebody and they don’t respond back within a certain amount of time, I start going into that. Like the last time we were together, did I say something I shouldn’t have said, did I do something wrong? Did I offend them in some way?
And I started trying to over analyze my behavior with those people. Or like something that, I’m a mom of two teenagers and teenagers are a whole thing. And so like with my teenagers, I can say, I can ask them like, Hey, can you take out the trash? And they won’t respond. And it’s not that they’re like trying to ignore me.
They’re just like, that either they don’t respond or they like grunt or something, like teenagers do. And, but it triggers those same feelings. Even though I know, like I didn’t do anything wrong by asking my kid to take out the trash and they’re not mad at me, but it’s like, when I’m talking to somebody and they don’t respond back, I am transported right back to that feeling.
Yeah. So that is an example, a real example from my childhood. And I talked with my mom about this actually. And honestly, my mom was like, did I really do that? Is that really how I was? I’m so sorry. Like she had no remembrance whatsoever of being this way towards me, like none at all. And so that, was really healing.
First of all to know that she, wasn’t being a bitch to me on purpose was like really healing. Even though I’m like 37 when she’s telling me this. And then the other thing is it gave me so much compassion for my mom because I have so many like large chunks of time that are missing from my memories as a kid.
And it just cemented for me that like my mom was dysregulated in her nervous system to our home was very dysfunctional and It does. It didn’t surprise me that she didn’t remember because like she’s disassociated from that too. So we both have this amnesia happening and my mom was, like, Lindsay, I’m so sorry.
I don’t know why I would have done that. I don’t remember doing it, but I’m so sorry. You didn’t deserve that. And like I held her hand and I was like, mom, it’s okay. I’m not mad about it anymore. I don’t hold you responsible for this anymore. I’m an adult now. And what I do with this as my responsibility now, I just wanted to talk to you about it.
And she was like I’m glad you talked to me about it. Cause I didn’t realize that I had done that. And I’m so sorry. And it was just a really beautiful moment for me to be able to tell my mom like, Hey, I know you did the best you could with what you had. I know that you weren’t like trying to hurt me or traumatize me, but whether she was trying to or not, it still happened.
And it still has left this like residual feeling in my body that even though I’m an I’m aware of it now, It still happens. So I’m curious. I know that was a lot, but I’m curious what your perspective is on that and where does astrology come in to that? Okay. So I think you address exactly, like oftentimes when we get triggered into something, so in your kids, it’s really about whenever somebody doesn’t respond to you in a way you want to, whether it’s a silent treatment or a grunt, that instantly causes you to feel triggered. And you’re thinking back to a time in the past when mom, give you that silent treatment and you felt, Oh, no, like I did I do something wrong, you felt guilty. You felt as though I wasn’t sure what the exact information w was there, but what I’m getting is a sense of cute.
Maybe I could have done better. Maybe I should have done more. Yeah. It was like the first emotion was like, confusion. Just what did I do? I don’t understand. And then just assuming. Because I always assume the worst about myself. I always assume that I’m the one to blame.
So then it was like going from confusion to assuming I must’ve done something and then trying to like psychoanalyze and micro analyze, like my entire day or the entire week or something to figure out okay. Where was the one place that I went wrong that has hurt her. And I don’t even I guess if I would have ever known that I had done something wrong, maybe I would have felt guilty about it, but she would never tell me what I had done wrong.
So it was like, there’s this confusion and this very like open ended what’s the word, like an open-ended just like dysregulation I know there’s gotta be a better word than that, but it was just like, it was like the. Not knowing how long it was going to be until she would talk to me again, or until things would go back to being okay.
It was like, it’s another thing that my parents did whenever we were kids as we would get sent to our rooms and told wait until your dad gets home. And we knew whenever our dad got home, like he was going to come home and he was going to rip his belt off of his pants and he was going to go to swinging because that was my childhood.
But the waiting was almost what was worse than the actual, like spanking itself, like waiting because it was just this open-ended like what’s going to happen. Like I know something bad is coming. And I like, it’s building up this anxiety in my body and this fear and this. Just talking about it right now.
I can feel those sensations in my body. It’s so crazy. Like I’m feeling like hot inside my body and like tingling and sick to my stomach. So it’s, but that’s the same kind of thing with my mom was just like, when is this going to be over? Like, when are things going to go back to normal? And is there anything that I can do to speed up that process?
Because I cannot handle this like rejection and this silent treatment and this passive aggressive behavior that you’re giving me. And honestly, it was manipulative too, because she meant it manipulated me into going into fix it mode where I was like trying to clean or perform or do something that would smooth this over and make it better.
When in reality it probably was never my problem to begin with, but I was, I’m a firstborn fixer. People-pleaser . Kind of person. So anyway, back to my question, astrologically, tell me how that all fits.
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, okay. So SRG is a very it’s very archetypal language.
So there is no precise, one placement that will signify okay. Was like that. And like the way you responded was that people using more, they are close to it. There are certain clues to it. But usually what are, first of all look at is mood the mood in the chart because the moon represents how you experience mother as you’re growing up.
So if I come in I know I saw your chat before. I can’t remember right now. Do you remember the moon? I don’t remember the sign that the moon is in, but I know the moon is like the ruler of my chart. Cancer. Okay. Yes, but I need to know the exact placement of the moon, but it’s okay. It’s okay. So usually when I look at so when I look at a chart, the first thing that I’ll actually look at is the sun and the moon.
Why? Because sun actually represents how you check your experience. Father moon represents how experience matter. So the sign in which the moon and assign the planets, right? The sign in which the planets are in will represent how you experienced them or the way you experienced them. Whereas the the houses in which the planets are in will be how you in what areas of your life, that you most identity.
Do you most identify your parents with? So for example if you have a moon in your case, if a moon in the 10th house, so the 10th house is the highest point in the sky, right? So any planets there would mean that it’s something that you look up to is something that you respect.
Yeah. That’s where the, that’s where the moon is in my chart. It’s at the very, it’s at the very top of my chart. And then the sun, I believe the sun is in my fourth house. Yeah. Correct. So instinctively, you start to notice that moon is in a temporary. So again, 10 is at the highest point, the guys, what you look up to.
Perhaps in our motto or somebody whom you really respect that somebody whom you always felt that, so you need a validation for, because the 10 pounds is where we look to for authority, where we look to for authority to validate us to feel enough. Okay. And you talk about like sun being the fourth house.
So sun represents your identity. So I’m a business and what you identify with and in the fourth house, it represents family home. So instant instinctively, right? Like when I look at this chart, just your son and replacement, it tells me that you are a very family centered person. You’re a very home centered person and home is Eric into you.
And I, if I remember correctly, you have a Venus in cancer as well. So naturally, like you are somebody who prioritizes family a lot.
So whatever that’s going at home, right? You need that sense of safety, that sense of wanting to nurture or wanting to feel nurture. And if you don’t are not able to embody and express that’s where you feel as though there’s something missing in you. And that’s where you go on to seek that validation.
I need to do more. I need to know Jomo, but I need to care more for like, where does my mom, where does for my family? Where does my siblings? So that’s usually how am I clear. Wow. Yeah, totally. You do a different kind of so for the astrologer that I worked with before Tammy, she’s been on a few episodes of the podcast according to her reading or whatever style it is that she uses, I’m a Gemini sun, a Sagittarius moon, and a Pisces rising.
So are you saying on yours I’m a cancer rising? No, because sorry, because I thought you mentioned that you had your moon was a chocolatier, so that wouldn’t actually mean that the mood of, Ooh, your ascendant, but in this case are sending, as you’re saying your chapters, that kind of, we call it a little bit, so no, you’re not your moon is not in a, so your moon is still in Sagittarius, but So it’s just like a placement because I probably have to open up your chat again too, to get it back.
Yeah. You look at charts all the time. I definitely don’t expect you to remember my specific one. But it’s really interesting that cause that is what I don’t understand about astrology are the archetypes. I don’t understand the placement of the planets and the different houses and what those houses mean.
And I’m sure if I studied it, I would figure it out. But it’s just, that’s not where I am in my life right now, which is why I’m talking to you. So then if we’re using my example or really any example part of healing from that wound from my mother, what has been a reparenting process, right?
So how do we go about reparenting and using astrology to direct that process? So I think once more, I think like looking at you, remember I talked about a four-step process. I think going back to where SRG fits into this four step process. The identification. So I think I showed you when he goes down to the identification process where we start to identify what those wounds are, what are your emotional needs that were not being met?
And once we are able to identify those wounds, that’s where we can start to work on that reparenting process, whether it’s to breath work or whatever the modality that is. So for me, it’s about using embodiment, right? Or visualization to go back to in the past, or as well as to embody the emotions of the future.
So that now we are teaching another system like new emotions instead of constantly feeling fear, anxiety, or whatever emotion it is of the past. Okay. Can you elaborate more on embodying the emotions of the future? Okay. So usually what I’ll get my clients to do is to imagine, three, five years from now
what do you foresee yourself doing? So I want the mental image first, so maybe you could say, okay, I’m working in this career in particular, I’m managing a team, right? I have a partner on my own and I’ll say, okay, can you imagine and visualize and see how it feels like in your future self walking through the house, managing the team, what has the feelings associated with that?
So for example, I say, okay, I feel confident. I feel as though I have a sense of authority, I feel as though I’m bold, I’m able to share my ideas openly, whereas in the past are so afraid to share them. And I’ll say that, okay. I want you to see the future. Make sure if you are coming closer and closer to you.
And right now I want you to imagine stepping into that, what does it feel like for you? And now you’re stepping into it and you’re starting to feel those emotions of confidence of authority and whatever new emotion that is. And you’re teaching yourself for a few emotions. That you’ve, you probably have not been accustomed to feeling in the past before because trauma.
And I think that’s where purpose starts to come to play. Whereby the way I look at purpose is that it’s not a lot of people look at purpose as a fixed goal, as a fixed tasks as a fixed, thing in mind, but how I look at purpose, it’s a set of emotional values that makes you so uniquely you.
And the goal here is really to learn how to embody what makes you uniquely you. So when you’re looking at, what are those emotional values that you driven by and to really embody and express more of it. So I think that’s how I look at purpose. And when I look at purpose, I’ll stay, imagine what that looks like.
And how does it feel like in stepping into that fleet? So that’s where the embodiment, what comes into play. Cool. Okay. Can you say that again? I want people to really get that and I was writing it down myself about your purpose is not a fixed goal. It’s tell me what it is again. Okay.
So a professor is not a fixed goal. It’s a a purpose is an emotional and embodiment of all the feelings that makes you uniquely you, the feelings or the values that makes you uniquely you. So for example okay, let me try to reiterate this another way. So oftentimes when I work with people to find out what their purpose is it is usually very linked to their trauma.
So for example, in your case, I remember we had this conversation where I did a chart reading before you previously your background was that, you felt as though you grew up in a very religious background and in that there was a lot of trauma. We’ve all been around that. And I think the path for you then was to really accept other perspectives.
And because I remember you have assigned Gemini and moon Sagittarius. So immediately on that polarity, there’s about what is right and wrong, having different opinions and judgments, and for you to actually experience that in your life, you probably had to grew up in an environment that had. I have a very rigid, a very righteous way of thinking of belief.
And then you are puffed then men that you have to, you had to break out of that, or in a way you had to overcome that that fixed thinking that you grew up in and to really see things from a wider and more expensive point of view, which is a Sagittarius archetype, and your journey. And in this case, right now, you, even you doing this podcast, it’s really about helping people to see that there’s no one fixed way to treat trauma.
It’s a holistic practice. That’s a multitude of different variety of ways in which you can actually look at trauma. It’s not a one like a fixed thing. So I think that’s where, you use you because of your pain in the past, but you start to realize that, okay, maybe it’s not just a fixed belief, maybe it’s like I should be opening up myself and I want to share the world, like how, like all the different modalities there are out there.
That’s so it’s so crazy. I’m really glad that you’re using my chart as an example here. I really hope that it makes people be like, wow, this guy really knows his shit and I want to work with him. So let’s talk about your coaching program.
You have a coaching program called from trauma to purpose. And it’s a one-on-one program that you do with clients for six weeks. So tell me about your program and tell those people who are listening why your program, there’s all kinds of programs out there for self-help and growth and healing and all of this.
So why your program. Okay, so I’ll start off with what what a coaching program actually entails. So it’s a unique blend of using astrology and LPSOEs embodiment practices to really break out of trauma and to step to your unique purpose. And as I mentioned earlier, It’s a six weeks program. So the goal here really is to number one huge trauma on the emotional level, not just on a cognitive level, because I realize that a lot of coaches out there they do a lot of reframing. They just do a lot of cognitive work, like purpose, it’s really all about resolving things.
So healing trauma is about resolving things on an emotional level and stepping up purpose means finding out what your unique, emotional values are really embody and express more of it. as we discussed earlier to start off this podcast, trauma, it’s really working on things on an emotional level.
It’s not just a cognitive understanding or cognitive resolution. So it’s really about releasing the emotional attachment to the past and finding out what emotionally drives you, what your unique emotional values, because your childhood and upbringing, and once we identify what those emotional values are, how are you then go to embody?
How are you going to have a plan to actually execute on it, to really express more of it, to find avenues to to really go out there and to share your unique emotions and gifts with the world. So it’s a six weeks program. So the first it’s a combination of astrology is a combination of our NLP and it’s a combination of embodiment practices.
So as strategy here is where I use the needle chart as a way to really diagnose, not taking notes, but to really understand, the patterns in your life from a bird’s eye view to understand how your childhood was like, while you’re growing up in Santa’s self-sabotaging patterns that you’ve carried forward because your early child experiences and for sessions two to six onwards, it’s really about, working on things on the cognitive level on the emotional level as well on the, as well as on a behavioral level.
So what I like to do is that once you resolve things on a cognitive level, so that’s a reframing what, once we receive, we resolve things on the emotional level. So that’s the reparenting work, the visualization exercise I mentioned earlier. So the last one is to really, set goals for you, small little goals to get you moving, right?
So that you’re no longer feeling stuck and. To help you to realize that, Hey, it’s safe for you to really go out there and to do something that you’ve always wanted to do for yourself. And I think the reason why people, if you choose to work with me is because there’s a structure, there’s a C there’s this, and we’ve structured as a sense of safety.
Because if what I realized is that when I was doing my research, as I was coming up my program, a lot of coaches out there, they they are always thinking about, okay, like productivity hacks, they coming up with a new strategy for you to do more. And for example, somebody says, like I tend to procrastinate a lot.
I really want to do I, what do you want to get? I want to quit my job. But for some reason to get an anxious around me, I’m so afraid of what people feel and see and judgment for. And a lot of them will just come out with a productivity hack or for example, like. How can I instill more courage within you?
But to me, it’s not about having a new strategy. It’s not about having a new framework. It’s about really resolving the root costs. And going back to a time in the past where you first felt as though somebody is going to judge you, if you had to make a wrong move and to resolve that. And in that’s where we start to feel safe.
That’s where we start to condition our nervous system to actually feel safe and start to make small steps, to get, celebrate your small wins and accumulate them so that you eventually make that move out of to get a picture that you are always looking for. Yeah. Okay. So are you, is your program primarily, are you working with entrepreneurs and business owners?
Are you working with stay-at-home moms? Who are you working with? Because I, when I started, I really didn’t have a niche and I was living in open and. I’ve been running this program for the past four months or so of all my clients. Okay. 98% of my clients are women, female, and they are usually aged between 20, 22 to 40.
It’s so interesting because I never really expected to be attracting like such a huge crowd. I think, honestly, the thing I have a feeling because it’s astrology, like a shortage is a predominantly female pool to it. So I do work primarily with a lot of our females. So some of the issues that semi-pro my clients are working through is people pleasing progress professionalism and there’s a tendency of never feeling good enough. So I think these are the three key Emotional problems that they usually come to me for, that I help them to resolve.
Okay. Yep. Yeah, that’s an interesting thing. I remember you mentioned it the last time we talked and you just mentioned it again, that you’re working primarily with women. And my husband and I have actually been having this conversation on the periphery of why is it, do you think that this conversation about trauma and healing and spiritual development and all of that, why do you think it is primarily happening with women and not with men?
That’s such an interesting question. I’ve been thinking about this as well. And honestly speaking, I feel that I try to, I, when I talk to men about what I do, and oftentimes the response I get is Do what don’t be a pussy. You’re like, like this is very like the way they look at emotions is at stall.
It’s weak, it’s vulnerable. And I think it’s about that toxic masculinity, that role that they are so used to needing to appear alpha, that they don’t feel there’s a need to really talk about a past. And I remember there was like this friend who actually commented that, like, why do you have to make so much, why do you have to make a D make such a huge deal about the past?
The past is the past. It doesn’t affect you, you just have to do more just simply move on. And I was trying to explain to him, it’s not as simple as that. Like it’s just, they just, I think men are just a lot more closed off with guts to really wanting to work on the wounds that they have.
And they don’t really see that as a weakness to them. They see it as in fact, a strength like, why do I need to do my emotions? No emotions means that I’m more productive at work. So I think the parties are different words for women. I think when. Like women are just so subjected to the whole patriarchal system.
And right now, this whole movement of women, just female empowerment feminism is just on the rise. And I think women are just at this it is, how do I say funkier, where they are just realizing that, Hey, like why do we have to stick with a system? Like why can’t we see each other as equals?
And even for myself, as I was trying to get business cultures, it was really very hard for me as a male figure to get help, to get support from business coaches, because they were all primarily working women. And to them, it felt as though it was unsafe for a male, to join, to be part of their community because they’re so used to living with males and being subjugated by whatever that comes with the patriarchal system. So yeah, I’m not sure what I was answering that question directly. No, I think it’s a really, it’s a good conversation. I don’t know that there is an answer to the question.
It’s just I’ve noticed that as well. Like primarily my followers on Instagram are women and I, I truly believe that and maybe this is going to get me canceled, but I don’t give a fuck anymore. But I truly believe that when we’re talking about things like racism or feminism that yes the targeted group, the group who’s been oppressed, whether it’s black indigenous people of color, Or women though.
Yes, those are the oppressed and marginalized groups and yes, their voices need to be elevated and amplified and yes, they need to have platforms to speak. They need justice, they need equality. They need all of that. However, if we think that the collective healing is only going to involve focusing on the marginalized people, the oppressed people, and not on the oppressor, we are healing incompletely, and we will not achieve collective healing because you don’t hurt someone unless you have yourself been hurt.
First hurting people, hurt people, healthy people, don’t hurt people. So when we talk about racism, for example, and I’ve shared this on the podcast and my episode with Daniel four is that yes. Racism was perpetuated by colonialism and religion and capitalism and patriarchy. Absolutely. But in going after the perceived benefits of whiteness, my older European ancestors traded in their own cultural lineage and heritage, and they lost like a lot of their own cultural practices for the concept of whiteness. And I think the same is true for men as men who have been in power longer than oppressive systems. As men came into power and society switched over from like goddess worshiping societies to God worshiping societies, they went from being matriarchal to patriarchal things like that.
The men were in power and yes, it oppressed women and it put women down and it limited women and it treated women horribly, but there was a trauma occurring in generations upon generations of men where like now there’s this disconnect between men and their divine feminine, and so they’re literally like disconnected from a part of themselves, which.
Is a symptom of this collective trauma. So that’s a that’s a very long aside and a tangent that I went on, but I think it’s important to recognize that, like, when we’re saying that we want to , fuck the patriarchy, which I absolutely want to fuck the patriarchy. That doesn’t mean that I think men are garbage and that I want them to , be fucked as well.
It means if we’re fucking the patriarchy it’s because all of us, men and women, every person of color, every white person, every race has been affected by the patriarchy. And if we’re going to overthrow it and fuck the patriarchy, then that means there has to be space for everyone to enter this new world that we’re creating it.
Can’t be, we’re only creating this world for female and black indigenous people of color. Like the world has to include straight white men too. So do you want to work with more men? Yes, I’m definitely open to, I’ve been trying, I was hoping to really get more male clients. I think for me, it’s more of a I wouldn’t say experiments the right word, but I, because a lot of my clients right now, when I read the astrological charts, it’s very.
Female-driven is very female bias, but I have certain theories that I want to play around. But I cannot concretely confirm these theories that I have in my head, with the Gusto astrological interpretations, because a lot of my clients are just females and I really want to work with more men as well, but I don’t think it’s going to be as easy.
For example, I talk about how one of my exercises involve like visualization and going back to the time, the past and the repair yourself. And I think most men are not willing to really go into that as well, because it’s really a bloated area. Like mescaline need to look strong and not be emotional because a lot of times, like my clients cry during this process.
And I think for a guy to cry in front of her grades, very It’s unusual. I would say it’s unusual. And I didn’t, I think I really want to be able to be that coach that can facilitate space for them as well, but at the same time, it’s about whether or not they’re receptive to the idea of being coached opponents too.
Yeah. Yeah, for sure. Okay. So I guess. My last question that I have for you is one of the last questions I have is for people like me, who, I admittedly I’ve admitted this multiple times on the podcast. I don’t know about astrology. That’s why I’ve talked to astrologers. So what are some good resources or places for people to start if they want to go on an astrological journey and learn for themselves?
I definitely want to encourage people to work with you. Definitely I would not want to do this sort of in-depth work like by DIY buying it or going out it on my own. I would definitely want a guide, but if I was just interested in learning more about maybe the archetypes or like how to look at my own chart and interpret things on my own chart or any other starting point for astrology, what types of resources would you record?
Okay. So usually when people ask me this question, the first thing I’ll get him to do is to. January their natal chart. I actually on my website, so that’s www.secretseven.com on my website. There is a free resource that teaches you how to generate your needle chart. It’s a free resource. So even a January natal chart is free.
So once the Kenya above details, your above location, that’s where your GC on neuro track. And then. You can use my resource to start to pinpoint what are different planets, the different signs and the different placements. And even in a restaurant, it teaches you how to formulate certain simple divinations.
So I think once you identify, okay, for example, if your moon is in what sign and in what house that’s where you can Google, right? For example, mood in the eighth house, and you can start to look and understand what are certain delineations there are. But having said that, I think a lot of resources out there because it such a nuanced language, and there’s so many different permutations in which a certain aspect or house placement or painter’s planetary placement could be in a lot of resources out.
There are very cookbook interpretations. That’s often why astrologists like me, are here to really paint the whole picture to re you know, like English one expect in relation to another. So it’s not just a singular aspect. For example if somebody has a Venus in the eighth house and.
What an astrologer would do, is that, how does it’s not just integrating that Venus and it in-house, but it’s also trying to draw correlation as to understanding how does the Venus in eight house COVID correlate back to other patients in the chart itself. So it’s the entire story. It’s not just, putting out like a piece of a puzzle and see okay, this is, it’s trying to piece the whole story together.
Yeah. Yeah. That’s I think where I get messed up is I’ve looked at astrological stuff for myself, like on the internet, just like Googling different things. Cause I really am interested in it. I’m just not in a place in my life where I have time to learn about it. And what I’ve found is like reading different horoscopes or reading different websites about all these different things, is it seems very, like you said, cookbook, like
I remember when I was a teenager, I used to get 17 magazine and I would read the horoscope in 17 magazine and I would read every single horoscope and every single one, I was like, this could apply to me. Totally apply to me, and it was, so it was like this isn’t specific. And so the judgment that I formed about astrology from a very early age was like, it’s just nonsense.
And, it’s a way for people to exploit money from people, but it doesn’t actually do anything. And it wasn’t until I actually worked with like you and with Tammy, that when it got really specific and you were able to explain different points in my chart, and it wasn’t like a two sentence horoscope from a magazine that’s whenever it came alive to me.
And now I’m at a place where my husband has benefited from astrology, I’ve benefited from it. Our relationship has benefited from it. Some of our financial decisions have benefited from it. Some of my business decisions have benefited from it after you and I had our first meeting together. Yes. And so the specificity.
Is where I feel like it’s at. And I feel like people who are skeptical of astrology have not experienced the specificity of astrology because you and Tanny have never met me in person. And you told me things about myself that are not found on the internet. So that’s how I was like, Oh, okay. This is real.
This is important. And I don’t think I’ll ever make a big decision in my life again, without consulting an astrologer first. Like it’s just been not helpful. Any last words that you want to tell people, particularly people who are like interested in what you do and are considering working with you.
I think the best way to look for me, it’s either to hit my website. So I think I mentioned it. I think the links will be placed in there. Yep. Yep. Okay. So it’s a WW dot secret satin.com. I am a lot more active on Instagram as well. So there is a sacred underscore section. There’s a reason why it’s Saturn.
So it’s because my NATO childlike set that is the most prominent TriNet in my NATO chat is my way of honoring set. That there’s a whole story about that. And it’s actually correlated to my father and father’s story and me stepping into the missing father archetype as well. So that’s what my entire story my needle is.
If it’s why it’s about me honoring my, my my role as the being stepping into the father role as well. So yeah, so if you guys are interested, you can just hit over to Instagram at secret underscore seven, and that’s where I’m a lot more active there which are to me, job at me at DMO live to connect.
Awesome. Yeah. Thank you so much, Jeremy. Thank you so much. This was great. No worries. I had so much fun. Let’s see. Thank you for having me here.
Oh, my gosh, isn’t Jeremy. So amazing.
So, if you’re interested in working with Jeremy and doing his six week from trauma to purpose program or his new program that he just released, I believe it’s called the north node. Um, Yeah, I’m recording this and I should be checking Instagram to make sure that that’s what it’s called, but he has a new program out as well, but either way, both of those programs, I will have linked in the show notes of this episode. So you can work with that amazing guy, Jeremy tan.
Show notes are email@example.com forward slash podcast. And this is episode 39. And again, if you are a trauma healer circle member, you have a bonus episode with Jeremy in the membership portal. When you log in it’s there and it is a juicy one. So thank you for being here. Thanks for spending your day with me. And i look forward to talking to you next time
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