This Week’s Card
This Week’s Guest
Rebecca Wiener McGregor is an Amplifier of Love and catalyst for breakthroughs! She shares her gifts as a transformational hypnotist + money mindset coach committed to helping visionary women live their Truth, step into their Divine Purpose, and create the life of their dreams. Over the last 17 years, she has helped thousands of clients to release old blocks, traumas, loss, and hidden fears to find a deeper sense of self-worth and determination to live life on their own terms. Using that self-worth and determination as fuel to create the life they’ve been dreaming of with deeper connection, more joy, more impact, wealth, and more fun!
Rebecca’s clients include spiritual entrepreneurs, coaches, healers, executives, entertainers, and influencers–women who have a message to share with the world. She’s worked with women across the country and around the world to release limiting beliefs and rewire their subconscious minds to feel limitless, take action, and create a life filled with abundance. Rebecca lives with her husband (in a relationship she manifested) and her rescue dogs Lucy, Millie, and Professor Winston in South Dakota, USA where she loves watching the water, books, art, music, has the ever-so-slight Netflix infatuation, and loves spending time hosting her friends and family.
Links
- Work with Rebecca
- FREE Training: How to Hack Your Nervous System with Cold Plunges
- Angel Guide Oracle Deck
- Follow me on Instagram
Show Notes
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
In this episode, hypnotherapist and money mindset coach Rebecca Wiener McGregor and I…- explain what hypnosis is and what it isn’t and share that each of us is in a hypnotic state multiple times a day
- discuss how hypnosis helps to re-program brain and body
- talk about how our language perpetuates trauma and triggers
- discuss identity as the single most important factor in healing (or not)
- explain how hypnosis can heal triggers
- discuss the concept of secondary gain
- talk about using hypnosis to transform self-punishment and shame into the embodiment of your Highest Self
- discuss hypnosis as an invaluable tool for Inner Child healing
Transcript
Hello. Hello. Thank you so much for being here. I’m honored to be sharing this time and space with you for another very healing and supportive episode of the holistic trauma healing podcast. This is the last episode for the month of September. If you can believe that September is about to be. Fall is in full swing here on the north shore of Minnesota.
The leaves are changing. We have finally gotten some rain. Oh my goodness. We were in such a terrible drought. This summer, such a bad drought had a forest fire. It’s actually still burning near my house. Um, it’s mostly contained now though, but it’s still going. It’s been going for about six weeks now. Um, It’s just, I’m so grateful for the rain we’ve had.
And the fun thing that comes with rain is that you get to go out in the woods afterwards and look for mushrooms. So my husband and I have been spending a lot of our afternoons and evenings lately going out after a rain or the day after we get a big storm and finding all kinds of mushrooms and learning, which ones are edible and which ones are going to kill us and which ones we just don’t know.
So we don’t touch those. Um, we use the seek app on our phones and it works really well for identifying mushrooms. It’s been pretty accurate so far. So for those of you who are into foraging or mushroom hunting or any kind of nature watching, I highly recommend the Sikh app on your phone. It’s free. And we really, really like it.
Um, and other news, I had my first. Hypnosis session yesterday, which is pretty timely considering the topic of today’s episode, which is hypnosis. I did not have a hypnosis session with my guest. I had it with another hypnotherapist and it was for a past life regression. So it was my very first time under hypnosis and my very first time to do a past life regression and.
I was kind of surprised at how much, well, you know what, I wasn’t, I probably wasn’t surprised about how much my analytical mind kept trying to come in with its chatter and tell me that this isn’t real, you’re making this up. This doesn’t matter. I even had a lot of anxiety. Um, whenever the session first started because I was afraid I was doing it wrong, but after maybe an hour, I was able to put that aside and really be in a different brainwave state.
So the alpha and theta brainwave states. Are the brainwave states you’re in, during hypnosis and was able to recall some details from a past life. I’m still debating on whether or not I want to share all of the details of that. Maybe some of the details of that. I’m just not sure I’m still processing a lot of it because it was a pretty traumatic past life.
And I have been affected in many, many ways in this lifetime. From that past lifetime. So I’m still trying to figure out like, if I shared it, how I would share it, what that might look like. I did record the session. So I’m thinking about doing like a hybrid episode where I play parts of the recording from the session, and then stagger that with my own commentary in between.
But I’m just going to keep thinking about that and sit with it and see what it feels like. But if you are interested in hypnosis, not past life regression hypnosis, but just general hypnosis for healing, the brain and body, and how hypnosis can help us break out of some of the patterns of the hidden programming that trauma creates and can help us release limiting.
And all kinds of stuff. That is what today’s show is about. So I have Rebecca Wiener McGregor on the show today, and she is a hypnotherapist. Uh, I will tell you about her Rebecca Wiener. McGregor is an amplifier of love and catalyst for breakthroughs. She shares her gifts as a transformational hypnotist and money mindset.
Coach committed to helping visionary women live their truth, step into their divine purpose and create the life of their. Over the last 17 years, she has helped thousands of clients to release old blocks, trauma loss, and hidden fears to find a deeper sense of self-worth and determination to live life on their own terms, using that self-worth and determination as fuel to create the life they’ve been dreaming of with deeper connection, more joy, more impact, more wealth, and more.
Rebecca’s clients include spiritual entrepreneurs, coaches, healers, executives, entertainers, and influencers, women who have a message to share with the world. She’s worked with women across the country and around the world to release limiting beliefs and rewire their subconscious mind to feel limitless, take action and create a life filled with.
Rebecca lives with her husband and a relationship she manifested and her rescue dogs, Lucy Millie, and professor Winston in South Dakota, where she loves watching the water books, art music, and has an ever so slight Netflix infatuation. She also loves to spend her time hosting friends and family. As I mentioned this episode is about hypnosis.
So Rebecca and I are going to be discussing what hypnosis is and what hypnosis isn’t. We’re also going to share how each of us is in a hypnotic state multiple times a day, and we enter this state without the help of a hypnotherapist. We will discuss how hypnosis helps reprogram the brain and body. We will talk about how our language perpetuates trauma and triggers.
We’re also going to talk a lot in this episode about identity and how, how we identify ourselves, um, may be the most important piece of healing. We’re going to explain how hypnosis can heal triggers. We’re going to discuss the concept of secondary gain. We’re going to talk about using hypnosis to transform self punishment and shame into the embodiment of your highest self and discuss how.
It is an invaluable tool for inner child healing. And even though she is a money mindset, coach and hypnotherapist, and we’re not actually talking about money and mindset in this episode, but I may have Rebecca back on to do a future episode about that. However, because she is into manifestation. The crazy thing is that I drew a manifestation card from one of my brand new car decks, the angel guide Oracle deck.
And I shuffled the cards like five, six times, spread them out, drew the car that called to me, and it was this beautiful manifestation card. So I feel like my experience with a hypnotherapist and the past life regression session that I had. This past week, as well as this card that I drew are so completely in alignment with the message on today’s podcast.
So I think everything is coming together for all of us to just be supported in changing our mindset, healing, our trauma. Manifesting what we want. There’s nothing wrong with that. And if you think there’s something wrong with manifestation, that is a mindset issue too. So, um, I’ll read the meaning of this manifestation card and then we will get into our chat with.
Manifestation is the ability to bring our thoughts, dreams, and intentions into reality. The spiritual law of manifestation helps us create from deep within energies and experiences that lead us toward greater fulfillment and purpose. You are blessed to have received this angel card today for it encourages you to recognize your power.
You are a master of manifestation, and whenever you focus on something with loving thoughts and the best intentions you bring that dream into real. If you were working on bringing something to fruition at this time, whether that be a project and opportunity, or even a miracle, this card lets you know, that it is unfolding before your eyes.
It’s very important to stay elevated at this time and focus on positive energy blessings and the positive events that are happening around you. As you are magnetizing, even more blessings into your. You are one with the universe at this time and have the ability to manifest incredible experiences and opportunities.
You are being encouraged to understand that any new opportunities arising will allow you to step up and move forward in your life. Your energy is aligned with pure potential, and it’s important to know that everything you focus on now is going to grow, adapt, and expand in line with your energy. Your angels are encouraging you to be open and receptive as the universe is offering you the guidance, abundance support and healing you require based on your current situation, recognize the incredible gifts and support that are available to you.
Now, the power of the universe is within you. And I could not have planned to draw a better guard for this episode. If I had gone through all eight of my decks and search through each card one by one to find the perfect card. So I can tell you that this episode is aligned. It is inspired. It is abundance, and it is here for your support.
So please sit back, relax and enjoy this powerful episode with Rebecca Wiener at McGregor.
Hello, Rebecca. Welcome to the holistic trauma healing podcast. Hey Lindsay. So happy to be here with you. Oh my gosh. I’m so happy to be here with you as well. So I have so many questions. You do hypnosis and we have not, I think we’ve had one episode where hypnosis was discussed pretty briefly, but. I want to go in really deep with hypnosis today because I know that you can use hypnosis to like literally reprogram.
The mind and to use it as a tool to reprogram anxiety or fear or rage or whatever. So can you just walk us through what exactly hypnosis is for people who think that it’s like somebody waving a stop or GRA a pocket watch in front of you going back and forth and then telling you that on the count of three, you’re going to quack like a duck or something like, can you just tell us what hypnosis is and what it is?
Absolutely. It is a state of focus and focus concentration. It is not mind control. So one of the things that is really important for everyone to know about hypnosis is that we create hypnosis ourselves. The hypnotist is the guide. I’m a guide and we are in a state of hypnosis many times a week, if not many times a day, when we’re in our usual activities, when we’re in our usual routine, when we’re taking that drive from our home to our job or to school or whatever it is, And we’re in that over and over again, we get in this state of
it’s it’s like autopilot, but not where we just are in the zone. I like to call it being in the zone and you do the things that you need to do. And you’ve created this focused concentration of your attention, your energy. And so no one else has to make you do it all hypnosis is self-hypnosis. I think that’s just above all.
That’s the most important thing for people to know, because it is such a powerful tool and many people are afraid of it because they think I can’t be hypnotized. I can’t give up control. I don’t want to give up control because I’m scared of what that would look like. And it is simply me being the guy.
For you to relax your mind, relax your body, and then focus on whatever we’re intending to focus on. And I use it personally to help people. My specialty is helping people really strauma heal their trauma for give their trauma, and that are thereby releasing anxiety rates. Sadness grief, stock limiting beliefs, which I believe all of those things are symptoms.
Yeah, absolutely. I agree with you there. So I want to go back to you said that all of us, multiple times a day, get into these states of hypnosis and you called it autopilot and I’ve used the term autopilot to talk about. The way that we live subconsciously like 95% of the time on autopilot where we’re not in awareness where our ego or our inner child or our activated nervous system is running the show.
So I just want to differentiate for our listeners. Who’ve heard me talk about. The autopilot of trauma. And then what you’re saying is actually not that right. It’s autopilot, but nod. So it’s like the car that shuts down all of its extra stuff at the stoplight, for the energy saving it, it shuts down all the extra things that it doesn’t need at that moment.
Do you want to start this again? Are you really freaked out about that? No, I’m not freaked out about it at all. Okay. Okay. I just want to, okay. All right. Can we cut that part out for sure. Okay, cool. All right. So there’s, there are these vehicles that for energy saving purposes, when they get to the stoplight and they have to stop, it’s like they go into almost like sleep mode.
And when you hit the gas. Then the car goes again and this just altered state is like shutting off everything don’t need right then. And when we’re using hypnosis for. Therapeutic purposes or healing purposes, I’ll say, because that’s what I use it for. Then we shut off all the extra stimuli. So people’s eyes are closed, not because they’re sleeping, which is a common misconception and it’s shut off so that this extra layer of stimuli is blocked out and that you can focus internally going inside how your body feels, the thoughts that you have, that kind of thing.
Okay, I’m glad you use the car example because I actually now have a car that is a V8 engine. And when you’re driving through like a neighborhood or. A place with a lot of stop signs or stoplights. It turns off four of those eight cylinders and it becomes like a V4. And so I didn’t, because before that I drove the same minivan for 14 years.
So I didn’t know that cars had that kind of technology nowadays, but now that I have a car like that I see what you’re saying. It totally makes sense that it’s shutting off. Whatever it doesn’t need, just so it can focus on what it does need in that moment. Exactly. And that’s re it’s really an unnatural state and we can move through our different, various frequencies of our brainwaves and all of that stuff.
I’m not a neurologist or neuroscientists, so I’ll let someone else explain that, but we move through those states all the time. And. Somebody called this thing hypnosis, which makes people believe that it’s all about sleeping and that it’s, and then we’ve seen movies about it. We’ve heard that it makes people quick, like ducks or, cluck like chickens.
That’s a really common one and that I can just hypnotize you at a party and make you sleep or whatever. And I like to have fun with that and joke about that. And that’s never been my style. I do think that there’s a lot of fun and entertainment around the comic hypnotists and things like that. And So I’ll let them, I’ll let them do that though.
They’re the experts in that. Yeah. Yeah. No kidding. Yeah. You’re not doing it for party tricks. You’re doing it to re reprogram people’s brains. Okay. So that, I guess that’s my next question. Does hypnosis, is it like a brain reprogramming? Is it a body reprogramming? Is it both? Is it neither it’s both.
And it is really special because when we retrain our brain, how to think and how to access our emotions, the physical responses that are associated with them can be changed as well. So for example, when I’m working with someone who has panic attacks and they have. Racing, heart pounding heart. Their head starts spinning.
They get, a feeling in the pit of their stomach tension on their shoulders. The whole system is starting to just be like a huge alarm going off. We can actually break the connection between the experience that caused that feeling and the body’s response. Because we neutralize the experience, the body stops, recreating that feeling.
So the panic goes away. So is it a way then that someone could use to maybe heal from triggers? Absolutely. Because that is an anger and anxiety response. Okay. Can you, if you have an example off the top of your head, could you maybe share an example of someone that you’ve worked with that was able to use hypnosis to heal?
An actual trigger because I know for me, like I have, it took me a very long time to get to the place where I am now, where I’m like, oh, it’s a trigger. Fuck. Yeah. I want to face this thing head on. And I want to expose myself to it, widen my window of tolerance and heal from this trigger because I don’t want, the way that I see triggers is that they’re not something to avoid.
There’s something to press into because if we make the. Condition of our internal state dependent on what’s happening outside of us. Then we are not sovereign authentic beings because our internal state is dictated by what’s on the outside of us, which is a trigger. I want to face my triggers head on and I don’t want to have triggers, but I know a lot of people who feel the complete opposite about their triggers.
And they’re like, I don’t want to think about it. I don’t want to see it. I don’t want to look at it because if I do, it’s going to be awful. So do you have a real life example of like off the top of your head of someone that you’ve worked with who had some pretty intense triggers that they were able to overcome through hypnosis?
Just a couple of thousand. Okay, cool. Really, if you look at a trigger as if it’s a phobia, And you’re reacting. And I would actually really encourage everyone who has a trigger to even change their verbiage about it. Never use my trigger, like start to separate it from you because we love to hold on to our possession.
So anything that we start using the word my with, we love to hold on to, and even if the word trigger is triggering, because it really can be, and it can be such a. Strong connection between that feeling or that circumstance and the feeling that’s created in your body, then release the word, trigger from your vocabulary.
I get this feeling when XYZ happens rather than. XYZ always triggers me to, you can see that it’s a very concrete statement versus I get this feeling sometimes when XYZ happens. Yeah. It’s almost like one is very expansive and it’s I get this feeling when this happens to me. I hear that. And I hear, but there are other possible feelings I could, but whenever it’s oh, that’s one of my.
It’s it’s very rigid and constricted and like nothing else is possible. This is a really important conversation because many people begin to identify themselves as the thing that they’re dealing with. And we know how I waves of goosebumps right now. I know somebody needs to hear this, how we identify ourselves.
The most important piece of healing, because we can identify ourselves as the trauma, as the trigger, as the feeling, as the symptom and it, we can just become more and more attached to it. You can just see, it’s almost like webs building around that feeling and connecting it to us. And when we say things like in the past, I felt anxiety at this situation.
Or because of this situation, or I felt even sometimes using anxiety is too much of a label. Like in the past I got a little bit of a feeling in my body when I experienced XYZ, because when we start to identify ourselves as the thing. That we’re trying to heal. It’s so hard to separate ourselves from it as a person who used to have anxiety.
I know that if I identified myself as a person who has social anxiety, it becomes the reason for everything. And the way we start operating in one area of our lives is the way we start operating in every area of our lives, because it’s yeah. Because our brain likes us to do the same thing over and over because that feels safe.
And the brain only cares about keeping us safe. It’s our spirit that wants happiness and joy and peacefulness and connection and love and all that good stuff. So being so protective of your language around what is happening in your physical and emotional being, especially the negative, because we can so deeply attach to it.
One of my clients said to me, I don’t know who I am without anxiety. Who will I be? And yesterday I got a fantastic voicemail from her mom saying you brought my daughter back to me, the one who was. So happy and in love with life and curious about growth and change and excited for her own evolution. As a person who was scared and closed off and becoming rigid and identifying herself as a person with anxiety, thinking that wasn’t going to be a movable part of herself.
Yeah, I that’s. I’m so glad you brought that up. I’ve actually, I was actually just thinking yesterday that I need to do a podcast episode where I talk about the importance of the possessive pronouns we use when we are discussing things like diagnoses or our triggers or whatever it is, because when we start putting the word my in front of.
Anxiety depression triggers an element, an illness, like whatever it is when we start using the word, my like we’re subconsciously programming ourselves to continue owning that thing. And so we’re hold, we’re holding it with a closed fist because it’s mine. Instead of holding it with an open hand where it has the freedom to leave whenever it’s ready.
Exactly. And so it’s I got chills whenever you were saying that too. So I was like, oh my gosh. I was literally just thinking to myself yesterday that I need to do this. And I’ve honestly, I’ve this has been something I wanted to talk about since I started this podcast almost a year ago, and I have kept myself from talking about it because I’m watching what’s going on social media right now.
And anything that you say. That is meant to empower someone to come out of that victim consciousness. For some people that is very empowering for just as many people it’s that in itself is a trigger. And so I’ve actually been called abelist for suggesting that people. Not use the word, my in front of triggers or for even suggesting that people face triggers that is somehow a manifestation of ableism because it is discriminating against them and whatever their situation or condition is with them.
Alternative narrative that maybe something else is possible. And they feel very defensive because it’s no this is how it is for me. This is how it’s always going to be for me. Like, how dare you suggest that something else is possible. Have you encountered that with any of your clients where they almost get triggered with you being like, let’s change the way you word your language around what you’re taking ownership of?
Have you experienced. By the time a person is working with me, they have decided that everything has to change. And that I don’t mean everything. I don’t mean everything. I mean that their way that they’ve been with themselves is not the way that they want it to be. And for some people they want it to be the way it is.
Whether it’s a conscious thought or an unconscious thought, and I don’t have any judgment about that at all. So when someone’s talking to me about what are ways that I can do now that we’re in this relationship together, what are some ways that I can help myself? The first thing we talk about is language.
And I like to address this because. As I talk to people, they get my ground rules and my ground rules are that we do not speak from a place of judgment with each other that we speak with, from a place of love and acceptance of one another without blame, without shame. And there is so much more possible with that.
And so I don’t work with people. Who’ve decided that nothing can change and that’s okay for them. If that’s their journey that nothing can change or nothing will change because they have done what they needed to do. And this is where they are, then that is that’s beautiful for them. If that’s, if they’re certain in such a way that certainty can bring them out a lot of peace, but for people who want.
And for people who want to be something different than what they are, they have chosen to acknowledge that the beliefs that they’re holding are not serving them and that they want to have different beliefs. They want to start thinking in new ways, they want to create new pathways. They want to open up other possibility.
That’s when we work together. Those conversations are, please help me, please give me ideas. Please encourage me in this way, because I know you’ll do it in a loving way. I could ask my family to call me on my language, but they won’t do it in the loving way because they witnessed my suffering and they don’t know how to help me.
So there’ll be unkind about it. And we operate from a partnership. We’re both on the same level. They know that I’m not above them. I’m not the guru. I’m just helping to witness and hold the space. And the belief that the outcome they want is possible. That’s so beautiful. That’s so beautiful. I can’t wait to work with you.
I cannot wait to start working with you. So let’s see. I’m just still blown away that I was having that thought yesterday. I know we’ve opened up all the boxes about language and I’m just like, whoa. And that is actually the first thing that I do with my coaching clients as well is I’m like, look as long as we’re in this relationship together do not tell me my anxiety kept me from doing this.
I also remember. Whenever this was in 2018, whenever I was hitting my rock bottom. And now that I’m on the other side of it, I can admit this with no shame at all. But for a little while, I did have some shame about it. And that was that there was a part of me when I was so anxious and having panic attacks all the time, having insomnia, having chronic pelvic pain.
And my friends or someone would ask me to do something or make plans with them or whatever. And I would say no, because I have this issue. No, I can’t go with you because if we get home too late, I won’t be able to sleep. No, I can’t do this because I might have too much pain. In my pelvis and that’s going to throw everything off.
So I was putting all these limitations on myself and I was using what I w what were very real experiences in my body and in my mind. But I, there was a part of me that felt almost a sense of relief that I had an excuse to say, no. And like I said, I used to have shame about this, but I don’t anymore.
And yeah, that shame doesn’t serve a purpose. Does it like I’m aware that’s what I was doing. And so now when I see that in someone else, it’s so easy to spot that behavior because I was there myself. And, as a coach, that’s something that’s really, you have to call people on that behavior and they don’t always like to be called on it.
And it’s, I think it’s because that, there’s a part of them that actually likes having the issue. Is that your experience? Oh, absolutely. There’s a term in medicine, in psychiatry and psychology, everywhere that is called secondary gain. There is a benefit. There’s a benefit for every awful thing too, there’s we can choose to use.
And sometimes this really becomes an unconscious choice. So when you were talking about whether shame is needed or not, there is no need, and I’m not coming at this at all from a place of judgment because I did it myself. If something doesn’t feel right, sometimes we create that because of the trauma that we’ve had in our lives.
To get us out of certain situations. And that is said with the most love that I can possibly send out in waves to the person who’s listening to this, who was like, holy crap, I have been doing this. I have been taking the situation that I’ve had. And it’s been trying to protect me in other ways.
And it’s holding me back a little bit more than I want it to, or maybe a lot more. And that’s a really powerful realization. And I talk about judgment and self judgment a lot because in every one of these situations that we’ve talked about, we could judge ourselves harshly for not knowing better about our language for not knowing better about how to heal the trauma that we’ve endured, not knowing better about anything.
The way that we behave, how come I never notice this about myself, whatever the moment when you do notice the moment when you allow yourself to be called forward, instead of being called out, then things get to change. I felt that being called forward rather than being called out like that, draw like a hoof body when you said that, because I.
I don’t want to say this as triggering for me, but like the language that I see being used online of we need to call people out to call them in. I hate that language. I hate that language. And I’m like, there is no community on this planet that I want to be part of so badly that I want them to broadcast my sins publicly as a way of.
Showing love to me or showing me that they want me to be in that community. If that happens to me, I’m going to be like, fuck you, I’m going to go find a different community, but like calling someone forward. That’s so different. And that’s not the thing I think we can do. And like the public sphere, that’s something that we do and like an interest.
An intimate relationship, like a coach, client relationship, or the therapist, client relationship or something like that? Not something that you’d do by tagging people on Instagram. No, by tagging people on Instagram, that’s just, as I think that’s just desiring to be right. And many people have a strong desire to be right.
And Dealt with that too. I sure as heck don’t want to be wrong. And I really, really it’s fun to be right. But if we’re operating from a place of love where everyone is on an equal plane and we’re all one and your body is not, you, your thoughts are not, you, your symptoms are not you that I want to call the you.
That is your spirit for. And that’s the kind of language I want to use. That’s the kind of elevation and higher frequency communication that I want to use. I want it to be about love. I wanted for you to be in your highest and best place so that you can honor your existence and live out your purpose and your mission and speak your Capitol teacher.
I don’t want you to feel like you have to be on guard that I’m going to call you out. Tell your secrets, shame you. There’s no reason for that at all. Yeah. It doesn’t serve a purpose other than to create more pain. And we’re trying to move away from the pain and look at what it’s taught us rather than being stuck in it and adding to it and compound.
Which is a disaster. Yeah. It’s not working out very well for us collectively, especially it’s not working out for us very well. So what does it look like? Because I went for a walk in the woods a couple of weeks ago and I have magical woods by my house. I just have magical woods and I go into them by myself and it’s I’m transported to an alternate dimension where I just receive, I don’t know, spiritual guidance, downloads, intuitive, nudges, whatever you want to call it.
And I went for one of those walks a couple of weeks ago, and the moment my foot stepped out of my yard and onto the path the phrase kept repeating over and over. Embody your highest self and body embody your highest self and body, your highest self and body, your highest self. And I was like, whoa, that’s really good.
And then the next week I announced that I was doing a Q and a podcast episode, which was episode 54. And someone asked the question, how do I know the difference between loving self discipline and self judgment or punishment? And. I thought a lot about how to answer that question because I was like, huh, do I even know the difference for myself?
Like I punished myself pretty frequently sometimes. I can be really hard on myself. My standards for myself are higher than any standards I ever placed on anyone else. But then it came through again and body your highest self embody, your highest self. And I was like, that’s the truth? The difference between self punishment and judgment and loving self-discipline.
Is that, that, that part of you that is coming at you hard with shame and with judgment and with you have to make all these changes in your life. Right now, there’s a sense of urgency. Like that’s all ego punishment judgment. What is coming from your highest self is never, ever going to treat you that way.
Like it’s going to come from a place of peace from acceptance of what you already are. There’s not going to be any urgency because with your highest self, like time doesn’t exist, there’s all the time in the world for you to evolve into who you are. And. The way that I have now, like I answered the question on the podcast I’ll say it now, I’m showing up this way in my own life.
And I’m doing this with my clients as well is if you’re caught between, okay. Is like making this diet change that I want to make, or starting this exercise, whatever, or hiring this coach. If I can’t figure out if it’s coming from a place of judgment or self-discipline. Then the question is this the embodiment of my highest self, right?
Is this what my highest self. Is choosing not from a place of wanting to, oh, you let yourself go during 2020 during COVID you haven’t been to the gym, you were eating like a bunch of takeout food. You’ve gained all this weight. Like now we have to get you back in shape. That is not coming from a place of your highest self.
No. Even though and our, the other reason why we don’t know the difference between self discipline and self punishment is because most of us grew up with either parents and or religious systems that we experienced. Discipline air quotes there as punishment. And so now we don’t know the difference.
So I know use that in your work with your clients and with hypnosis, you can help people move out of that place of self-judgment and I’m guessing come out of self-judgment and into embodying your highest self. So can you walk me through what that looks like as a transition from punishing yourself?
To being deeply devoted to yourself, to your mission, to your vision and all of the pieces that are the I am inside of you. And to have it be, I don’t want to often speak in absolutes, but it, the highest self, the devotion to the highest self, your higher self will always be from love. It will never be from comparison.
It will never be from unkindness. It will never be from doubt. It will never be from shame. It will never be from guilt. It will never be from blame. I did not mean to, to rhyme there. It will never be from a negative unkind place. It will always be from a place of connection from love inclusion, from commitment being about or discipline, being about commitment to the self and devotion to the self, rather than the pushing of the self, the punishment of the self and that I even second guess using the word push because we can.
Encourage from love as well ourselves, but the and we can be rigorous and we can be determined to create things that our higher self has guided us to create or show up for. But if it feels unkind in any way, that is coming from the ego because the higher self would never speak to you.
The divine would never speak to you that way. Yeah. That’s that inner critic not, it would be. Yeah. It’s definitely your humanness and not your higher self. Yeah. Where do you want to go next? Do you, do we want to track talk more about trauma? Do you want to talk about. I don’t know, I’m really open.
Like what do you want to make sure gets said, like what’s coming through for you that, needs to be said today? I think what’s really important to be said is that if you have a desire to change the fit, the physical and emotional responses that you have, and you believe you’ve tried everything you haven’t, because if you have the desire, they’re your higher self.
Is leading you toward to that. So let yourself open up if it’s hypnosis, if it’s some other kind of healing that you haven’t tried hypnosis is a really powerful and swift. To heal the mind, which is the activity of the brain and to connect you to yourself again very beautiful processes are in place for you to be able to look at experiences from your past that you would also refer to it at times as the trauma or your trauma.
And to be able to look at it.
With more acceptance that, that happened more acceptance, that the younger part of you was part of that, the younger part of you had to go through that. And the part of you that I guess the younger. Whichever part of you, that younger part of you that had to go through the trauma and all of the things that they’ve created as protection responses to that, that have created symptoms in you for anxiety, for panic, and these ways of trying to protect that aren’t really serving you, that you get to be really loving with that part, that younger self and.
Partner with that younger part of you to heal and to be with that experience and talk about the feelings that were felt and how it feels that your younger self had to go through that. One of my clients said she was really sad when she was referring to her younger self that went through this big thing and.
She was so mad at her younger self for going through and being stuck and creating these feelings on the other side of that, that she hadn’t even seen that part of herself as the little girl that she was. She was at odds with her and that created more in congruence, more out of alignment, feelings, more disconnect.
And when we, for example, when we are in hypnosis and in the process that I use where we do a regression, we look at those experiences, we speak the truth of how that experience made us feel. The things that went through our minds, the things that we saw, and I have some. Experiences and rather techniques that I use to help dissolve the feelings about that experience very swiftly so that we can look at it more objectively and get into a really deep place of acceptance and love for the part of us that went through that resonates really hard.
I’ve been doing some inner child work recently where I noticed that. The feeling that comes up as it’s almost like I can’t even sit with the pain that my inner child felt because the adult version of me is just like impatient with my inner child. And just oh, you should be over this by now.
You’ve gone over this and over this you’ve talked about this in therapy. You’ve talked about this everywhere. You can talk about it. Like it’s really time for you to like, Grow up, just and so like in a reverse engineered kind of way, what’s coming up for me, as you’re saying that is that now on the other side, we look back at our younger selves, whether it was ourselves six months ago or ourself, when we were four years old, we look back on that younger version of ourselves and we judge them so harshly that it’s almost if we.
They’re not asking to be judged. They’re just asking for us to come and meet them in their pain, because like time doesn’t exist. And so that part of me, that inner child, part of me is still experiencing our reality in which those wounds are still taking place. And really, she just needs me to come and quit.
Quit trying to rush her into quote, unquote, feeling better or getting better or growing up or whatever. And she really just needs me to come and sit with her in that place. But I think we get so focused on what’s quote unquote, wrong with me right now. And that we don’t give ourselves the grace of just going and sitting with the parts of us that hurt because we’re just trying to fix them.
And we get to help them heal. And for that part, that stuck in that experience in that loop and trying to recreate the protection of that was needed in that moment, that was, or wasn’t there, which we can go really deep on this. That part of us that was stuck there gets to be called forward to the now and to see that.
I’m not that age anymore. I’m not that person anymore. I’ve grown. And I’ve learned all these experiences, but that saying with your example, like she’s four years old, she’s still four years old and we think, how could you not get over this? She’s four years old when the thing happened? So she doesn’t have the emotional compact capacity that you do now.
So you get to love her and you get to honor her and you get to show her what your life is like now. And you get to say, we don’t have to be stuck here. You get to experience this and you get to see that you, we move past it. Talk, sorry. Can you talk about the difference? Because what’s coming up for me right now is like my opinion of like mantras and affirmations as I’m not a, I’m not a big fan of them because I see people trying to use them when they’re in a really activated state.
So they’re like super activated. Let’s say they’re experiencing a moment of anxiety. And they’re like, I just need to go back to my mantras and I am safe. I am calm. I am at peace. And like their nervous system does not believe them. They’re not convincing their nervous system that they’re actually safe and that everything is okay.
So I don’t like mantras in that way, but when we’re in the right nervous system, state, mantras can be really powerful. You’re not so much having to talk your nervous system into feeling safe it’s that you already feel safe. And so whatever you are creating from that place is being created from a place of safety.
So I’m hearing you say all of this about being with the inner child and like noticing her, witnessing her being in that pain with her, showing her what your life is like now. And I’m thinking. Is this a cognitive process? Is this like something that I’m doing in my brain or is this something that hypnosis can really help with?
Because I’ve tried the whole, like cognitive. I’ll just think, I’ll just think my inner child into knowing that my life is better now. And then it’s a week later something happens that triggers that wound and it’s oh, whoops. My inner child actually did not come with me into the present.
She’s still stuck over there because I tried to think my way into it. Am I even wording the question in a way that makes sense. Are you tracking with me? I’m tracking with you. So let’s go there. Let’s go here. First, when I’m talking about working with the inner child in that experience, the four-year-old, I’m talking about doing that in hypnosis, where we are experiencing the feelings of the, and processing the feelings of the experience that created the feeling of trauma.
Okay. And so this is. It’s very swift in hypnosis because remember we’ve shut off all that exterior stuff, all those other spits of stimuli. And we’re very focused on this experience. So this whole process can take an hour or two for this trauma that has changed the trajectory about an entire life.
So being in that place where we are very focused and we are very. Aware and present of all the things that are happening in the body and the mind in this experience, we are not in the conscious mind. We’re in the conscious mind, and we’re also operating in clearing and healing in the subconscious at the same time, when we go in this fashion, it ha it’s a shift in the consciousness.
And it’s a shift in the subconscious mind, which is where the healing of the subconscious mind can make things so much easier because trying to do it from our conscious mind is I don’t even have a good metaphor for it. It’s what we’ve all heard standing in the mud and trying to get out of the mind at the same time.
Like being in the quicksand and trying to get out of the quicksand at the same time, only sinking, deeper, like brushing your teeth while eating Oreos. Yeah. So nasty. Yes, exactly. And we all have tried that route. I Many of us have tried that route, right? Like I’m going to wake up on Monday and I’m going to feel better.
I’m going to be happier. We have drawn a line in the sand, but this is going to be the week that things get better. Then we get in lots of German and stuff like that. When the, when Monday turns out to be just like Friday. So the idea of having a facilitator, whether it’s hypnosis or some other kind of healing, whatever your, whatever you choose, allowing someone to get in a place of trust with you, where you trust them, they trust you.
You’re in an, in a really balanced place together arm and arm doing that. You can move out of the conscious mind, which is very powerful and very important. Your beautiful brain was designed to heal, but it needs to be given time and space to do that. And we can create new pathways and new ways of being by shifting those pathways, creating new pathways and healing the old inflamed pathway.
Calming them down. Yeah. So when we’ve done that, this is where I think the affirmation thing and mantra thing comes into play because I think of amplifiers and mantras as amplifiers or affirmations and monitor us as amplifiers. So I’m not sure I said that correctly as amplifiers. So whatever we’re feeling, if we start putting, feeling into words, it’s going to amplify whatever we’re feeling.
So when we do it from a place of peacefulness and certainty, that we’re going to amplify that if we do it from a place of, I don’t know what’s happening right now, but I got to try to get myself out of it. It’s going to be a lot harder. Because we’re are, because just like you said, our brain is not going to believe it.
If the brain is saying that we’re unsafe, the brain has a connection to something in the past that it’s replaying. And it’s saying we are not safe, Lindsey, no matter what you’re saying right now, which I know is complete BS, because you’re just trying to get me to calm down. It’s not going to work, right?
The brain is so powerful that it will continue to recreate those feelings until it can get into a place of buying in that we are safe. So a question can be a place that would be a nice bridge before you get into affirmations and mantras. What would it take for me to feel safe right now? What would it take from me to know that I’m safe right now?
What feeling would have to. Come into my awareness that it can tell me that I’m safe right now, then we’re opening up possibility rather than trying to force an another area. And that shifts because the brain really responds well to questions. How many times you’ve asked yourself the question, what if in a negative way and phone 486 answers that you never knew were possible, but when you ask yourself, what if in a positive way, what would I feel like if I didn’t feel unsafe right now?
What if I was safe right now? What would it look like? And as you ask yourself those questions, you can just feel that it just slows things down, rather than forcing I am safe. I am okay. I’m strong. I’m powerful. Yes. Those are really beautiful statements. But your brain is already like really spinning its wheels saying no, the opposite is true.
And I’m trying to get the heck out of here right now. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. So what do I need right now to slow? My thoughts? What can I do? Or what would I need right now to feel in order to know that I’m in a different place than when this thing that pops up for me and makes me think of the past is happening.
I’m trying to avoid using that T word. Yeah, I got ya. I’m tracking. I know you said that you can reprogram a lot of things like in an hour or something. So is hypnosis a relatively quick healing tool or does it depend on how long somebody has dealt with a certain issue? Does it depend on what their trauma was?
Does it depend on If they’re still in a volatile or unhealthy environment what are the sort of variables that you take into consideration when you’re working with someone and then what is the timeframe that someone could expect? If they’re coming to you with terrible panic attacks or something, like how quickly could they hope to experience some relief and what are the conditions.
That are the variables that might influence that. Sure. All the variables influenced that you identified, are they still in the situation? That can be a very, that’s a very big deal. Healing can come. If the desire is there to chain, if the desire is there to heal, it can come even in a situation where it’s really difficult because when we start to create space for healing, then we start to create space for different choices.
And then we can move ourselves out of the volatile situation if we, if we’ve chosen that, and I’m talking about adults, people who have that ability. So yeah. You can heal an experience in a relatively short amount of time. And one of the things that I love about hypnosis is how swift it is.
I’ve had people come to me saying I’ve been trying to get over this anxiety about this one experience that I had when I was five years old for 30 years, because I’ve worked with clients from age three to 93. So they come to me at all different stages of trying to work through their stuff and what we can do.
And. A very short amount of time. And my sessions are three hours for the first one and two hours for the followups. It’s a little bit longer. And by the way, this is no dig on traditional therapy whatsoever because that has very, it’s been lifesaving to me and very powerful for many of my clients as well, and many people around the world that, that ability though, to share.
And heal a traumatic event can actually make the therapy more effective. Like the traditionals, cognitive behavioral therapy so much more effective because they can get in the present moment and make decisions from there because they’re not still looping or spinning from the past experience.
So if someone were to come to me that they’ve been dealing with a certain feeling from an experience that they had 20 years ago, we really look at it. How often are they feeling the feelings? What has transpired since, what do we need? How many patterns do we need to rewrite and rewrite? We’re just talking about stuff and hypnosis.
This is so beautiful in its simplicity. And it isn’t, it’s not without effort, but it is very simple. And for most of my clients, 12 weeks is really this beautiful place where they’ve healed patterns. They’ve broken patterns and they’ve created new ones, really beautiful, empowered, clear, certain new patterns where they’re trusting themselves and they are in a place of.
Forgiveness that the experience happened. There are forgiveness, there’s forgiveness for themselves, which leads to this beautiful place of acceptance, where they can acknowledge all the lessons that have been learned. Those hard won lessons are the hardest ones to acknowledge, I think sometimes, and they can really get into a place of being in the present and witnessing all the good stuff that’s happening in the present, where you have the ability to make a decision clear decision.
There’s less judgment, far less judgment. And when we’re not holding judgment of our thoughts and our actions, there’s so much more space between our thoughts where we can feel appreciation from the moment gratitude and we can get inspired about what next step to take in our life. And many of the people I work with have really powerful goals.
They have powerful desires that want to move the world forward. And so to get to that place where there’s space between them. And nice easy breaths where you can make clear decisions and not deliberate, not ruminate. And then take the next right action. The next aligned action and feel like you’re, you’ve got control of where you’re going in your life.
That is really powerful thing. Yeah, no kidding. No kidding. I didn’t ever think that was possible for me. And it is. It’s so beautiful that it is, and I’m so grateful. Tell my listeners what you offer, how can they work with you? How can they find you? I know I want to work with you for my business coach, getting ready to hire you to be my business coach. But what are our, it’s business coaching, all you do, are there other ways that people can work with you just share everything. Okay. It’s a little bit, so I will share everything. And I appreciate and honor the theater and acknowledge the fact that you’ve given me that space to do that.
I really appreciate that. It’s very loving, generous thing to do Lindsey. Wow. You’re, you’ve just shared. It’s 2 22. We started reading, it was one 11 earlier and we noticed that and now it’s 2 22, so perfect. It’s so perfect. I love those little signs, and all of all the waves of goosebumps we’ve had during this recording and even our conversation beforehand.
So I love to work with people. One-on-one, that’s really where my heart is. And I love to create change. So if someone is dealing with panic and anxiety, rage, and they want to help themselves through that and move forward from that, they can reach me through heal with hypnosis.com. And if someone wants to reach me about one of my courses I help people with really creating change through their business and Releasing the limiting beliefs that hold their business back through their money beliefs and their worthiness beliefs and all of that kind of thing.
And they can reach me through Rebecca wiener.com for that, and both lead to a conversation or an email. All you have to do is reach out. I’m so willing for people who are really willing. To change and really desiring to heal and really desiring to move themselves forward so that they can live out their mission and purpose.
I’m here for it. I’m here for it. So just reach out and let’s have a conversation. And if I’m not the right person for you, I’ll help you find the person who is yeah. Oh, I love it. I love it. Your heart is I don’t know. So generous. And the energy that I get from you is just like this very open, laid back.
I have no agenda. Like whenever you’re ready, I’m here. I don’t know. You just have that energy, right? It’s cause I don’t believe in a false scarcity. Yeah. I believe in calling forward and elevating, we don’t need to push each other down to make a point. We can just call each other forward and know that I’ll be here when you’re ready.
Most likely I can’t control everything, but I can control that. My desire to be here when you’re ready is strong. Yeah. Thank you so much for being here. It was an honor to have you on the show and probably one of my, one of my favorite episodes yet. Oh, thank you so much, Lindsay. It’s been a joy being with you. 📍 did you enjoy the show? I’d really appreciate it. If you took a few moments to rate the podcast,
Into the world.
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