Episode 42: The Trouble with Binary Belief Systems (special solo episode!)

SPECIAL LATE-NIGHT SOLO EPISODE!

I’m not normally a night owl, but the energy of late May-early June have been intense. Rather than feeling sleepy at 10pm, I’m wide awake… and not in an anxious, thoughts racing kind of way. It’s a peaceful, but inspired awake. And, I’ve felt like taking a lot of inspired action during this time.

One of the things I’ve been working on during these late nights is my new course, which I’m SO excited to finally be able to share with you! It helps to have anecdotes for stuff like this, and as always, the Universe provided in the form of a DM I received from a family member. Oh, I also used plant medicine prior to recording this, so…

Links

• Save your spot in Belief Beyond the Binary for 30% off + get a FREE 3-month membership to the Trauma Healers Circle!

Show Notes

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

In this special solo, late-night episode, I…

• share some exciting announcements of change and growth
• talk about why I chose to make a major financial decision during Mercury Retrograde
• share my thoughts on a manipulative message I received from a family member
• talk about my former self as an evangelical Christian and why my experience has put me in the unique position of being able to spot manipulation, shame tactics, and coercion by those who are still in the fold
• discuss brain-washing and intolerance of disobedience and non-compliance of binary belief systems
• announce my new course Belief Beyond the Binary!!

When you purchase Belief Beyond the Binary before June 24, save 30% off the retail price of the course PLUS receive a FREE 3-month membership to my online healing community, the Trauma Healers Circle!

Click here to save your spot in Belief Beyond the Binary!

Transcript

Hello, and welcome back to the podcast. Thank you so much for being here. I am recording this on Monday, June 7th at 10:43 PM. I should have been in bed half an hour ago, sleeping half an hour ago. And instead I was inspired to come down to my office. Pull out my equipment, let a bunch of candles. Take a little plant medicine and come chat with you instead, instead of being asleep, because I’m an adult, I’m a big girl now, and I can do those things and I don’t need permission.

So anyway.

We well, first, I’m going to just talk to you and share some really cool thing that is happening in my life right now. So I’ve shared on the podcast. Many times that I used to be a food blotter. And I’d started a food blogging. In 2014 I started it on a blogspot.com. Platform and I used like a tiny linen closet that we had. My husband took all the shelves.

But one out. And I use that one shelf to put my laptop on and I had a chair that sat in the hallway, outside the closet. And that was my office. It was a linen closet in a hallway. And that’s where I started my very first business. And that blog is called all the nourishing things. It is. My Anthem to my love of nourishing foods.

And traditional food preparation methods and the chapter of my life, where I was a health freak. That is what all the nourishing things is. And but I, I sort of lost interest in all the nourishing things. Towards the end of 2019, early 2020. And what I mean by that is I just, I mean, first of all, it’s a food blog, so it kind of requires a lot of inspiration and creativity in the kitchen. And.

I hadn’t been feeling creative or inspired to make new recipes or try new ingredients. In a very long time. And I was shifting my beliefs at the time. Around victim hood, victim consciousness, and I was learning and devouring information about the nervous system. I was learning about nervous system regulation. I was excavating my own trauma. I mean, that’s what was going on in my life at the time. So I don’t think it’s that surprising that I sort of lost interest in my food book.

Despite the lack of creativity and imagination that I felt in the kitchen. It was just That’s just not where my priorities were. My priorities were on healing. I had been digging myself out of the deepest, darkest hole. Of my entire life. And I had been doing it by myself and that’s where my focus and energy had to be. And the more I learned about trauma and the nervous system and awareness and consciousness, and the more I grew.

Into figuring out what holistic trauma healing means and how to share that message with the world. And one of the ways I’m doing that is in the form of this podcast. There are other ways that I’m excited and to tell you about, and this. Very impromptu episode. But yeah, late night, 2019, early 2020, I was just in.

A different place than the food blog world. And because I had built my food blog to get traffic from search engine optimization. I wasn’t having to keep up with the social media accounts of my food blog or putting out new content all the time, because I had already put out a ton of really good quality content that was optimized for search engines.

And so I was getting over 90% of my traffic. Per month from Google. Which is awesome because when you have ads installed on your site, like I did you earn money whenever people come to your site and they scroll, which means their eyes are seeing ads, which means you’re getting. Paid for those views or those clicks. We all know how ads work. I know they’re annoying, but trust me.

They paid my bills. Four years. So they enabled me to stay home with my kids. They enabled me to be my own boss and have my own business. They enabled me to pay off debt. Like having income from ads is a real source of income for many, many people. And I know they’re annoying that please, if that’s not the kind of business you’re in, please understand that.

When you land on someone’s website and they have all those annoying popups and ads, that that person is probably just doing the best they can to stay home and like raise their kids. And not have to go sit at a desk every day and pay for daycare. Like that’s honestly what those ads did for me. So that was a bit of a tangent, but I suppose you

I used to plant medicine before I got on here. Which means I need to take a drink.

Okay. So. Yeah, just wasn’t in food blob land, but was so grateful for. The ways that I had set my side up to bring me in passive income, because that afforded me the huge privilege. And believe me, when I tell you I know what a privilege.

This was, but that afforded me the privilege to be able to take time completely off from work for several months, because I still had income coming in every month. And so I’ve got to take that time off and focus on myself and my healing. And it was. About nine months of intense. Daily. Focus on learning to meditate, learning to sit in awareness, learning to feel pain in my body and not react to it, learning to feel anxiety and not react to it.

Healing insomnia going on and off medications. Like it was an intense period that I had to take. It was the first time in my life. I had ever taken time with this for myself and I had to take this time because I had been suicidal just a year before. I was still digging myself out of that hole. And even before I was suicidal.

The events of my life. The childhood trauma, the religious trauma, the purity culture trauma, the all the different trauma, financial trauma that I’d had in my life like that still hadn’t been dealt with either. And so I was excavating. A lot of trauma and digging myself out of a really deep dark. Place.

And so I’m so grateful that I had that income because it enabled me to take that time and space for myself. And I think what takes some people. Decades because they’re working and they’re having to figure out, you know, paying for therapy and making therapy appointments without missing work and living, you know, a life that’s busy and they have a career and they have kids and they have bills and they have all of that. Their focus is in a million different areas and very often.

Their own needs. Get on mat because they’re meeting all these other needs and there’s no time left for themselves. And so I think that what takes someone like that, you know, five or 10 years to accomplish in talk therapy. I was able to accomplish in about a year and it’s simply. Because I have the time and I am so grateful.

For that privilege and also really proud of myself for building a business. That enabled me to one day, be able to, you know turn in my chips, and cash out some very much needed time off. For rest and self love and healing. And so thankfully the blog, because my husband and I both have worked on it for five years and have.

Turned it into a well-oiled machine. We continue to have traffic coming in. I continue to have income and I was able to not only do this deep dive into healing for myself, but then in October of 2020, I was able to start the holistic trauma healing podcast, where I began to. Sort of break down what I had been doing and learning for myself.

In a way that was easily digestible and that wouldn’t require you to have to read a whole lot. So So, yeah. That’s, that’s what I did. And. Anyway, the coolest thing happened. So in the spring of 2020, I told the universe. You said. If the right buyer came along. I would be open to selling.

All the nourishing things, the food blog. I really would. I feel like I’m ready to move on. I’m way more passionate. About trauma healing and this podcast. I’m not super into the food blog. Now, any work that I do on a food blog is sort of out of obligation because I’m trying to keep my points up with Google.

There’s not passion there. I think my readers can tell that I’m losing steam over this. And so I just put it out into the universe. If the right buyer comes along, I’m open to selling all the nourishing things. I’m open to letting it go. I had no expectations. I had no sense of urgency. The only other people I told were my husband.

And two of my good friends. In real life friends. I didn’t tell anyone on the internet. I didn’t tell even food bloggers that I’ve known for years and years didn’t even tell them. Definitely did not advertise it anywhere. Didn’t put it on Facebook. Nothing. And I just put that energy out into the universe. Once a few months later, I remember putting the energy again, just reminding the universe. Hey.

I’m ready to let this go if, and when the time is right and the right buyer comes along. I’m ready to sell all the nourishing things.

Well in early may I woke up to an email one morning. From a company. Who simply asked me. Would you be open to selling your food blog? And. I was sort of like, whoa, is this it? Is this really? It. And so I emailed them back just like, you know, very, very tentative, like tell me more. And we set up a time to meet on zoom.

And then I met with the CEO of his company on zoom. And it was a good fit. They made us an offer. And I agreed to sell my food blog. And if everything goes as planned and nothing falls through, I mean, knock runaway, we are in the middle of mercury retrograde still. So I’m doing a major financial transaction during the middle of a record retrograde, which I know is typically discouraged.

But I choose not to live in fear of mercury retrograde. Mercury retrograde is a beautiful time of going backwards and getting to revisit old patterns. And repeat the lesson so you can learn it and move on. And so I have learned to just stop being afraid of mercury retrograde. So. Yes, I’m doing. A major financial transaction in the middle of the mercury retrograde by selling my food blog.

But if all goes as planned, we should close on the sale on June 15th. And. That’s sort of my big announcement. I mean, that is my big announcement. Like that’s a huge investment. But the reason why I’m getting on here to talk to you about this is because when I sell. The food blog. They get that the company that’s buying, it gets everything. They get my email list. They get my social media accounts.

They get the products that I sell on my website, my eBooks. They get everything. And so I’m trying to sort of clean out the personal stuff before I hand everything over to them. And one of the things that I’m doing. Out of courtesy to the Instagram followers that I’ve had, who have sent me private messages.

Over the years, many of which were very private and contained personal information. I’m deleting all of my DNS, like every single DM, I’m just deleting it. So that I can hand over an Instagram account that doesn’t have You know, people’s personal stuff that they share. So. As I’m going through these.

DMS and I’m deleting them. I’m realizing, Hey, there’s actually quite a few people here that he occupant touch with pretty regularly on here. And they seem like, you know, they’re loyal followers. They seem to enjoy the content I’m putting out there. They seem to like want to follow everything I do. They’re watching all my stories. They’re interacting on my posts there.

Subscribed to my newsletter. Like they really seem to like me. And so. It would be a shame to lose touch with them. For personal and professional reasons. And so I sent each one of them in DM. It was just like, Hey I’m not going to be the face of all the nourishing things anymore, and I’m not going to be running this Instagram account. I’ve really enjoyed staying in touch with you here on Instagram. If you’d like to stay in touch.

Here’s my new account. And I gave them my current Instagram, which is at, I am Lindsey lockets. And that was it. And many of them, I. I suspect it probably would happen followed me and have started following me at I am Lindsey block it.

But. I got one response back. From someone who. Well, let me put it this way. I either got no responses back and all I got was a follow from the people I messaged, which is great. A few of them sent me messages back. Like, congratulations. I can’t wait to see what you’re doing. I’m ready to listen to your podcasts. Like whatever they said, it was all positive.

But I got one message back. From a cousin of mine. Who I rarely talk to, but occasionally I kind of go and check and see what’s up with them. And I thought, you know, This person is a member of my family. I’m okay with them following me. Like we don’t have any weird boundaries issues. So I’m going to let them know that, you know, if they want to stay in touch this way. Cause I don’t have their phone number. We don’t text. I’m not on Facebook. Like the only way that we contact each other is through Instagram.

So. I sent them this message. And got a reply back and I want to read you. The reply. Because this is our transition into the main topic of today’s podcast. So here’s what they said. Hi, Lindsey. I want to say that I love you and hope you and the family are doing wonderful. I love keeping in touch with you, but I will not be following your account. I want to be truthful with you and I have a hard time following your accounts because of how you bash Christianity and my belief system.

I love Jesus. And I know that he is real and true, and that we are put here on earth to love people and spread his word. I do want you to know that I love you, and I’m always here for you and think of you often, but I am hurt by your posts. My parents raised me wonderfully and raised me to love the Lord wholeheartedly. And I’m so thankful for it. I never felt abused, judged, forced, or traumatized my husband and I can enjoy our bodies sexually as Christians. And we do LOL. We love the Lord and love our sex life. God wants you to enjoy both, but in the right way with one person, I strongly believe that one day Christ will pull you back in, but I can’t force.

That on you and I won’t. I want you to live your life in the way you see fit. And I will respect that, but it just hurts me too bad to see the way you put down my beliefs and the way my parents raised me. Most of all, it hurts me to see you turning people away from Christianity. After looking up to you for many years, I wish you the best and hope to stay in touch. I felt like I needed to be honest with you, and I hope you can respect the way I feel.

Hmm. I better get a drink. After that.

All right. Let’s unpack this.

I wish I could say that this is the first DM that I’ve ever received. Like this. But it doesn’t. It’s probably the longest DM I’ve ever. Received like this, but it granted it is from a family member of mine who I’ve known since they were born. So here’s what I read in between the lines, because

I am a former Christian. Everything that my cousin is saying in this message. Is something that I have said. To someone who was not living and believing. The way that I thought they should. Which was to live their lives, according to the word of God to attend. An evangelical church to trust in Jesus as their Lord and savior.

To spread his word and the gospel. And to give their money to the church and like be virgins till they’re married and believe that gay people are going to hell. Like I was raised that way. So everything that my cousin is saying here is something that I have said to someone who didn’t measure up to my standards, which I believed were Jesus has standards.

Or God’s standards. So I’m not surprised by my cousin’s message at all. But. I’ve been in my cousin’s shoes. And now I’m out and I’m able to sort of turn around and look backward. At how I was when I was like my cousin and. I used to feel a lot of shame and humiliation for how I was back then. But now I only feel so much love and compassion for that person.

Because that Lindsey was so brainwashed and so full fear. Fear that I was a center and I wasn’t worthy of God’s forgiveness. Fear that I wasn’t living my life exactly the way God wanted me to that I was missing his plan somehow. Fear that I wouldn’t make it to heaven because I hadn’t prayed the right way or I hadn’t lived the right way, fear that God was going to judge me. And that everything that happened in my life was his punishment to try to bring me back to himself. Like.

I know what that girl believed. And I know how strongly she held onto that belief and the reason she held onto it. So strongly. Is because it was the only form of certainty she had ever had. You know, when her home life was going to shit, when her parents were completely dysfunctional, when you know her real dad wasn’t in the scene and her stepdad was like,

Emotionally and physically abusing me. Sorry. I just went back and forth from referring myself in the first person and the third person. I apologize. Anyway, like. I have so much fear. And when anyone challenged my beliefs, that was an immediate, like, Flip of a switch trauma response that I had to go into defense mode, defend, defend, defend. And I would say things like, you know, doubt is a tool of the devil and he’s using it to deceive you.

And here’s where the Bible says that like I could quote the Bible verses chapter and verse, and I was good. At turning people’s challenges or arguments against my belief system. I was really good at turning those around. And making it about Bach. Person’s lack of. Goodness or worth.

Like, because they had the audacity. To challenge me and question me, they had even more audacity to challenge God and question God. And like, who the fuck are you to do that? You know, and so I’ve been brainwashed and trained like a good soldier of God. I know how to turn these arguments around. Put them back on you and make it about you hurting me because you challenged my beliefs.

Or make it about you being disobedient to a God who loves you and who wants to call you back into the fold? It’s it. I get to project it. You know, And so. Back to my cousins. Message. Here’s what I read in between the lines of her message. I read five things between the lines. One. I read. My cousin was properly indoctrinated.

So if I’m, if I’m reading it as my cousin, They’re saying things like, I love you. I hope you and your family are well. But I have to tell you the truth. I’m having a hard time following your accounts because you bash Christianity and my beliefs. I love Jesus. He is real and true. And the only reason we’re here is to spread the word. I love you. I’m here for you. I think of you, but I am hurt by your posts. My parents raised me this way. They raised me to love God and I’m so thankful. I’ve never felt abused or traumatized or judged or forced. My husband and I are enjoying our sex lives and God wants us to enjoy that. But in the right way with one person,

I want Christ to pull you back in, but I can’t force that on you. And I won’t force that on you. I want you to live your life in a way that you see fit and. I respect you, but it hurts me so bad to see the way you put down my beliefs and the way my parents raised me. And most of all, it hurts me to see you turning people away from Christianity after looking up to for many years.

You guys.

My cousin is gaslighting me. And. At the same time my cousin is saying. I was properly indoctrinated. I mean, my cousin said twice, they referred to. How their parents raised them. That’s what they refer to twice. Twice. My parents raised me whole heartedly. And raised me to love the Lord.

And then again, The way my parents raised me. Twice. They bring that up. Not once. Is there any indication that my cousin made a choice for themselves here? Not even my parents raised me this way. And then I chose it for myself as an adult. Just, this is the way my parents raised me. If the reason why we’re doing something is only because that’s the way our parents raised us.

Then I’m going to say it’s time for us to start questioning. That about ourselves. So to me, If I’m living the way my parents raised me, then that means my parents did a damn good job of indoctrinating me. So this to me says I was properly indoctrinated. The next thing that it says is I didn’t choose this for myself.

It’s what I was taught to believe. So that would be another way of saying I was properly indoctrinated.

The third thing I heard is. I perceive you sharing your experience of my belief system. As a threat and a personal attack on me. So I want to be clear. Not one time. In the seven years since I have deconstructed. And deconverted from Christianity, not one time. Have I told anyone in person or on social media.

That they shouldn’t be. A Christian. Not one time. I believe in freedom of religious choice. I believe that every person has a right to choose for themselves what they believe in and don’t believe in when it comes to spirituality. And or religion. I’ve never told anyone not to believe in Jesus, not to be Christians. And I’ve never told anyone not to go to church.

What I have done is I have shared my own experience. And thankfully because of the internet, I have been able to talk to literally thousands of people around the world. Who were raised in a similar belief system that I was raised in, and they also have similar experiences and they are feeling traumatized and confused and like they’re losing their identities.

But there’s always the Christian who is like, I’m so sorry. That was your experience of God. With a church or Jesus with a Bible. But that’s never happened to me. I love Jesus and church. I love God’s word. If that was your experience, then I’m so sorry for those people treating you that way. But that’s just not how it is.

One more.

Come on. Come on. That’s so gas lady. And. It like completely invalidates. Not only my feelings, but the feelings of like, literally I’m. I’m going to say there’s millions of people who are dealing with the fallout. From growing up in evangelical Christianity. I mean, Just looking at like the hashtags on Instagram, hashtags, like ex evangelical.

Ex Christian deconstruction life after Jesus. Saved from Jesus, like hashtags, like this, there’s a huge show that there is a massive mass Exodus. Out of the evangelical Christian Church right now. It’s not just me. It’s not just one little pocket of the internet or of the world. It’s massive. And maybe my experience of evangelicalism is not representative of the majority of evangelicalism.

I have a hard time believing up, but maybe it’s not for the sake of art of the argument. Let’s say it’s not, let’s say that my experience with evangelical Christianity. Is. Into minority. That the purity culture I was raised in, but I was raised to believe in the infallibility and an errancy of the Bible as God’s inspired. Holy word.

That I was, you know, trained to give at least 10% of my income to the church, because if I didn’t, I was robbing God. That I was raised in Pirie culture and taught to cover my body because I didn’t want my Christian brothers to stumble over it. That I was raised to deny my sexuality and to deny my intuition. Like if that experience of evangelicalism is in the minority.

Okay, fine. Let’s pretend that it is. For the sake of this argument. Even if it’s the minority, it doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. And it doesn’t mean that it didn’t cause me some type of trauma, which it definitely did. And it doesn’t mean that all the other people who I have seen and personally connected with over the years,

It doesn’t make their story or their feelings any less valid either.

Even though what I’ve said about Christianity. Is a, my own experience. That is also shared by others. A and B. Has never been up against. Any one particular person or church or denomination, even though I have mentioned specific denominations, my criticism is with. The system. Of evangelical Christianity as a religion.

And the way that it perpetuates patriarchy, capitalism and colonialism. Not against anyone. A church person. Pastor. Author. Denomination. But the whole system. And even if your experience of that system is nothing but butterflies and rainbows. That does not mean that other people who have been under that system have not experienced something far different from you. And just because they share their experience.

Does not mean you need to feel threatened. Someone sharing their experience is not a threat. In any case. But me sharing my. Invitation for my cousin to follow me on Instagram. Apparently was enough. She’s been watching what I’ve been putting out there and she’s been perceiving it as all these little micro threats. And

this was their opportunity to. You know, swoop in and put me in my place. Tell me, they can’t follow me. So. They perceive that me sharing my experience. Of their belief system is a threat. And a personal attack. The fourth thing that I read into my cousin’s message is. You don’t fit into the box.

And therefore, I can’t even look at you. I mean, literally can’t even look at me here cause we’re talking about her following me on social media. Right. Because I’m not in the same box. As my cousin. I’m not following the rules. I’m not playing by those rules. I’m coloring outside the lines.

Because of that because they perceive that as a threat. They can’t even look at me. Can’t even follow me on social media, which is fine. You know, again, like we have the following and follow buttons for a reason. I’m not saying everyone who’s invited to follow me. Should. What I am saying is that this is a really passive, aggressive, manipulative way of telling someone you can’t follow them.

Because you’re making it about their beliefs and their morality instead of who they are. And the last thing that I read into my cousin’s message. Is. I’m so brainwashed into believing that I am supposed to project onto you, my own insecurities and lack of certainty. But I will disguise it with speaking the truth and love using air quotes there.

Speaking the truth in love was always one of those. Christianese phrases. That we would use any time. We were speaking to Christians and non-Christians alike. And finding something wrong with their behavior. Quote unquote, holding them accountable. Right? You always held someone accountable by speaking the truth in love.

You know, Even though I’ve never said anything personally against my cousin or against. Her. Church or her beliefs. I’ve only shared my own experience and the ways in which the general system of evangelicalism. Has been pretty cult-like. Pretty fundamentalist and pretty dogmatic. It was caused a lot of harm and abuse.

That is what I’ve shared, but they perceive that as a personal attack because deep down, I think everyone. Who’s part of any religious system, deep down. There’s some part of them that questions is this real, is this right? What if I’m wrong? You know, I was a pastor’s wife and would still sometimes in.

You know, weak moments. Find myself going. This. What if. What if I got it all wrong? What if I die? And your wake up? And God tells me that I had it all wrong. Like. I really had those thoughts. I told you I was consumed by fear. So.

Every person who thinks they have certainty in a belief. At some point, they have that little, little voice inside of them. That’s like with all the, you sure. And it probably doesn’t help. When, when you see people who don’t share or adhere to our belief systems, Living really good lives. Being happy, having great healthy relationships.

Being healthy in their bodies. Doing things they love. Playing thing, adventurous things accessible. Like it doesn’t help. When you see someone who doesn’t share your belief systems, like maybe even living a better life than you are. Because God supposedly promised you. But us. You know, That you would have a great life.

Because a life in Christ is, you know, a life that’s full of joy and freedom. Love. But you think that God and Jesus are the only source of love. So when you see people who don’t live inside the same box that you do. Experiencing the fullness of love of their lives. Which includes abundance. And relationships and success.

Gratitude. Of course, it makes you go well. If I don’t have those things with Jesus, how will they have those things without Jesus? You know, So we have to project our insecurities on to other people because to sit with the reality that what we’ve been told is certain isn’t actually certain. Is too much.

That’s such a scary, uncomfortable feeling. So why am I inspired to share all this with you? I mean, first of all, I think it’s obvious that. The more. Healing I do the more trauma healing or do. In myself. The easier I’m able to recognize. That chaos and dysfunction and other people. And I don’t say that in a.

A prideful ego at way, like you know, really good at reading people’s energies or something. I’m not saying it that way. I’m saying it like.

It’s kind of like whenever you take. A candle into a dark room. You know, like whatever you hold the candle up next to it eliminates that part of the room, but the rest of the room stays dark. It’s whatever part of the room, you’re either holding the candle, the closest to. And I think that is. What it’s like to heal trauma and to raise your energetic frequency.

Is whenever you are around someone that has a lower, energetic frequency, because they are still living under the oppression of trauma. Then it’s, you’re like the candle that shines the light in the dark place and illuminates, that person. And I definitely don’t want to eliminate. People’s pain and trauma and low vibes.

In a judgemental call-out sort of way. But I think we’ve all had that experience where someone who sees what we have. Experience is so much jealousy that they would rather bad mouth us and gossip about us and make assumptions about us. And even tell lies about us. Then get up off their ass and go to work hard for whatever it is that we have that they think they want.

And. I’ve been that brainwashed before. And so I have so much empathy and compassion for my cousin because I remember when I was my cousin. I remember when I was sending people, text messages and emails like this. When I was saying this to people in person, when I was praying like this, I remember that.

And I know that place of fear because that’s what a binary belief system does to you. The binary belief system. Brainwashes you. It gaslights you, it minimizes and invalidates your feelings and your experiences. It lies to you. It manipulates you. That’s what it does. That’s a binary belief system.

Binary belief systems are dogmatic they’re fundamentalist and they’re cult-like. Everything is a binary. Everything is right or wrong, good or bad black or white truth or lie. Abuser abused. Perpetrator victim. Democrat Republican. You know, in binary belief systems everything’s binary. So it doesn’t matter if it’s religion or politics.

Or. Activism. Education philosophy, healthcare diet, lifestyle. I mean, any belief system can be. A binary belief system. And for the majority of the time that I deconstructed I’ve referred to. These types of things as fundamentalist ideologies, Colts. But I chosen instead to use binary belief system as the term, because that doesn’t have as much of a religious or.

Crazy connotation like fundamentalist and Colt. Has or how so I’m using binary belief system from now on. And whether your binary belief system is evangelical Christianity, or whether it’s toxic Wells culture or it’s a left. Whoa. Activists woke. Did his own culture or anything else? Any belief system can be a binary belief system.

You know, when it’s seeking to control people’s thoughts and to shut down their critical thinking when it’s trying to isolate. Members from being in, in community with people outside. Group. When it is seeking to control behavior. When it is seeking to control how you spend your time and your money.

These are binary belief systems. It doesn’t matter if it’s a religious cult or a political party. Or a philosophy. So. Binary belief systems are traumatic. Because of the way they distort our feelings about ourselves and our feelings in our bodies. And how they fuck our minds over. Like they literally teach our minds to override our bodies over and over and over.

And because I come from evangelical Christianity and I have deconstructed it and deconverted from it and come out of it. I’m able to see the ways in which evangelicalism. Was a binary belief system that offered me. What I thought was certainty is actually perceived certainty because certainty is a myth.

But it offered me this perceived certainty. That was conditional. You know, if. Then. So if you pray and accept Jesus as your Lord and savior, then your sins will be forgiven and you will live for any Trinity in heaven. If you read the Bible and believe it is God’s infallible word and pray every single day, then you will be rewarded.

In heaven. If you witnessed to people and tell them about Jesus Christ and they convert, then you will be. You know, whatever. So. It was conditional certainty. And of course, like nobody fucking knows exactly what happens to us when we die. And placing our faith in a dude who died on the cross. Is no different in placing our faith in the tooth fairy or Santa Claus or running mercury. Like it’s, it’s just not, and there’s no way for you to prove it.

But yet for evangelical Christians live as if it’s already been proven and they say they have no doubts and it’s because they have this perceived. Certainty.

And here’s where it all ties together. Our nervous systems, our brains love. Certainty. We love knowing where our feet are going to land. When we are walking in our feet, touch the ground. We love knowing that it’s a simple thing you don’t think about it usually, but that is certainty. Being able to predict that your foot is going to land a certain place on the ground. And it does.

Gives you certainty that the predictions that you make are right. And when your brain can make predictions and it gets them right. It can keep you safe. It can keep you from. Putting your foot too far on the edge of a cliff and falling off, or it can keep you from making a mistake or stepping on for our traffic or, , our brains use our past Maurice.

Coupled with predictions about the current moment. Two are coupled with the current limit to make predictions about what’s about to happen. And when it comes true, when our burns are right. They get a reward. Ahead of DARPA mean. It lights up the pleasure sensor in the brain. Ah, I was right. I like the feeling of being right.

And then when we’re wrong. We feel ashamed. We feel fear. Because we took memories from the past. We couple them with this present moment and we didn’t make an accurate prediction. And certainty is feeling like you’ve made an accurate prediction. And the feelings associated with certainty are safety stability.

Rest calm contentment. Happiness feelings associated with uncertainty or instability. Fear anxiety. Discontentments, kind of all the opposite things. But the trouble. Is that when we grew up with development, trauma, When we grew up inside of the binary belief system. While it was evangelical Christianity or fundamentalist, religion of some other sort. Whatever the binary belief system was.

Our nervous systems are attracted. Two binary belief systems. Because. The binary belief system makes it easier. It’s more efficient. And it takes less energy for our brains to see something as black and white, right. And wrong. Good and bad. Instead of. Taking it apart and looking at the nuance and the complexity.

You know, it takes more work. It takes more thought it takes more awareness. And it’s easier to be unaware and unconscious of what we’re doing. And binary belief systems allow that as long as we’re latched onto the binary, the thinking has been done for us. We don’t have to do it ourselves. And that is what binary belief systems are counting on. They count on you to outsource.

Not only your thinking, but also your intuition. Because you’ll have those moments of going, is this right? Something about this doesn’t feel right. But because you’ve outsourced your thinking and your intuition to the binary of belief system. You typically shut it off. You don’t allow those questions to come in and that’s exactly what the binary belief systems want us to be. It’s all about control.

Control control control, and we allow ourselves to be controlled because we think. That we’re certain of what’s going to happen. You’re certain about our eternity. We’re certain about our goodness, about our worthiness, about our ability to, to be loved. It provides us this certainty. And so we are more than happy to outsource our critical thinking and our intuition to the binary of belief systems.

The trouble I’m sure you can guess is that these systems can be very traumatizing. What, when you’re taught what we learn to believe what we are modeled inside. These belief systems often leaves us with the trauma of tons of guilt and shame about ourselves. Fear about who we are, not even knowing who we are, because we were never able to express who we are.

Feeling suppressed in all kinds of areas from our sexuality to our femininity, to our masculinity, too. Even healthy fight response. We’ve had to suppress, suppress, suppress for the binary belief system, because we weren’t allowed to fight back because if you fought back, that was considered arguing with the belief system and that wasn’t allowed because your critical thinking was discouraged.

So. I want everyone who has ever been in a bind your belief system. Whether it was woke activism. The alt-right. Or religion of some sort, a fundamentalist religion. A toxic diet culture, toxic loans, culture, whatever the binary belief system was. If you were a part of it in the past, and you still notice some trauma responses coming back up from it.

Or you’re currently still part of the binary belief system. Maybe you don’t know if you’re part of a binary belief system, but. You’d like to find out if you are, because you don’t want to be, you want to think for yourself, you don’t want to be told and raised to believe something. You don’t want to be indoctrinated. You want to choose for yourself.

And you should. Everyone has the right to choose for themselves because we each and every one of us are autonomous sovereign beings. And we have the capability to think and decide for ourselves. And whether we choose to listen to science and reason, or we choose to listen to our intuition or we choose to find.

Spirituality and synchronicities. It’s our choice because we are sovereign beings. And so. Part of. Unpacking and healing from the trauma of binary belief system, whether you work hard at all in the past. Or you’re still part of one. We’ve got a break free. We have to break free from those binary blue systems.

It’s a heal our nervous systems. If you recognize those patterns. We have to. Feel the feelings we want to allow to feel. Embody them. Move in all of our bodies, get that energy out of our bodies. And learn to widen our windows of tolerance and be comfortable with uncertainty. Because uncertainty is really all we have anyway. Nobody knows the answer to anything definitively.

Truth is relative. Isn’t absolute. And we hate that because if it’s relative, that means it’s uncertain. And we don’t like uncertainty. Our brains perceive it as a threat. And so that brings us full circle, that to what my cousin. Sent me the message about. My evolution of my life. Changing my belief systems and living that out loud in authenticity and integrity.

Is a threat to my cousin as it is a threat to many people. And if you are living that way, then you have also experienced other people feeling threatened. By your authenticity. By the way you speak up. And you don’t silence yourself to make somebody else comfortable. That’s really broadening to a lot of people.

Particularly if they’re still in a binary belief system. Because they don’t have that same freedom. They can’t live authentically or they won’t be part of the binary anymore. So I am. Super excited. To announce. That I have completed. My first course. And it is called belief beyond the binary. This course is the culmination of my own lived experience. My years of study of trauma and the nervous system.

How I have deconstructed and deconverted from two binary belief systems. The ways that I recognize binary belief systems, why our nervous systems are attracted to them. And how to start. Thinking for ourselves and reclaiming our sovereignty. That is what this course is about. I am so excited. I’ve been working on it.

Or months now. The information for this course followed through in the most. Divine ways. I initially set out to do a workshop. I was just going to do an hour and a half long workshop on doom. Send the replay to everyone who came to the workshop and be done. And so much information came through. I just kept writing and writing and writing, and I realized very quickly.

This is way more information than I could ever share in an hour and a half long workshop. Live on zoom. So I have to turn it into a course. So that’s what I’m doing. And I was wanting to have the workshop available. On the new moon in may. And here we are at the new moon in June. And there is no workshop at all. I totally scrapped that. And now I’m just offering the course.

I’m so excited about this course. The universe downloaded this. Teaching this energy into me, because it was meant to come out to you. And if you are finding this at any part of what I’m saying is resonating with you. Then the belief beyond the binary is for you.

I am in love. With this course. It has videos. It has journaling prompts and activities and body mint exercises, guided visualization. Tons of stuff for you to read links for more information, it is packed full of everything you need to know to identify binary belief systems. Figure out why your nervous system was attracted to them.

Embody those feelings that you suppressed and repressed for all of those years, because it wasn’t safe to feel them. Break free from the binary belief system or the trauma responses. You’re still hearing in your body as a result of a binary belief system. And start thinking for yourself. This course is going to help you reclaim your sovereignty. If you were ever heart.

Of a binary belief system. And if you’re not sure you’re going to learn so much in this course about your nervous system and about healing trauma in general, that the binary belief system stuff will just be gravy on the top, because really this is a healing course. This isn’t a course that’s designed to.

Teach you about Kohl’s. This is a course that’s designed to help you break free from trauma. And it doesn’t matter where the trauma came from. These. This information is for anyone who’s experienced trauma and is ready to break free. I’m so excited to share this gift with the world. It truly was. I divine flow of information.

I can’t explain it any other way. And it’s like everything that I’ve been storing up inside of me, all of these nuggets. Of wisdom, all of these experiences, all of these conversations and things that I’ve read and books that I’ve read and podcasts. I’ve listened to in conversations I’ve had with my husband and with my friends and, and all of it has culminated into this.

Climax that is. Belief beyond binary. Of course. So. Get on pre-sale. Do you know, 11. Through June 24th. That’s 13 days that you have to get it for 30% off. And after that, the course launches on the full moon in June. And I do hope that you enjoy this impromptu episode. It is now 11:41 PM. On Monday, June 7th.

My candles are still going. I’m almost out of wire. I finally feel like I have dumped all of this out. I didn’t even stop.

I only stop to take a drink. But I don’t all of this out and now. I feel like I can go to bed. I feel like I was inspired to share and I’ve shared, and I got it all out. And now I’m ready to go to bed. So. Thank you for listening. I know it won’t be 1140 at night, wherever you are when you listen.

But you’re here with me in spirit, even if you don’t know it, even if you’re listening to this after the back. So thank you for being here. Your presence here means everything to me, truly hope this episode is supportive of you and your journey. And I know that I know that I know that belief beyond the binary will absolutely be supportive of you and your journey.

 

Okay, exciting stuff. I’m now recording this little outro. On June 11th, I’m about to hit publish on this podcast. Impromptu episode for you. The second part of my interview with Mike and Tony we’ll publish on Sunday as usually scheduled. This is just a little bonus episode for everyone. And I want to give you the full details of the presale for belief beyond the binary.

So when you purchase belief beyond the binary from now until June 24th, you will save 30% off the retail price. You don’t have to enter a coupon code. There’s absolutely nothing for you to do, except for go through the checkout process. The 30% discount is already applied to the price. Also, I’m so excited to be able to gift you a free three month membership to my online community, the trauma healer circle.

Only for people who purchase belief beyond the binary during pre-sale. So when the course launches and goes live on June 24th. The course goes back up to full price and no one who purchases the course after that date, we’ll get a free three month membership to the trauma healer circle. So if you’re interested in joining that online community, you want to save some money on a really fantastic course. You guys, I promise you, you are going to feel like you are getting more than your money’s worth out of this course. Like.

I hope that I’m an under promising, because I know I’m over delivering. With this course. This course has 24 lessons in six modules. There are 10 videos. 18, very deep healing. Probing journaling prompts that are going to help you. Get to the root of the trauma of binary belief system, how it’s made you feel and reclaiming your personal sovereignty. There are embodiment practices. There is a guided visualization.

And if you buy during pre-sale, you also get the support of the trauma healer circles. So as you’re going through belief beyond the binary, you can ask questions and bounce ideas off of other people and share bits of your story because that’s what this group is here for. It’s here to support you and what better way than to support you for free for three months.

So head to Lindsay locket.com forward slash B B B that’s three letter BS as in boy. Stands for belief beyond the binary. I will also have it linked in the show notes below as well as on the show notes on my website, so head to Lindsay locket.com forward slash B B B two by belief beyond the binary for 30% off the presale price.

And get a three month membership for free to the trauma healers circle. Follow what I’m doing on Instagram, in my stories and my feed over the next 13 days, because I’m going to be sharing more about the course. So thank you for being here. Thanks for listening to my stone self.

Talk to you. At 11 o’clock at night, and I’m just honored and thankful that you’re here, that you’re part of this community. And I can’t wait to see you heal from binary belief systems, reclaim your sovereignty and step back into your power.

📍 Did you enjoy the show? Awesome. Here’s what you can do next first. Make sure you’re subscribed second. I really appreciate it. If you took a few moments to rate the podcast, finally, you can partner with me to keep putting this healing information into the world for just $5 per month. You will help keep the show ad free and freely available. If you want to go deeper and connect with me and other trauma healers in community, I invite you to join the trauma healer circle. This community is where the magic happens. You get access to bonus podcast.

Episodes monthly zoom calls. And most importantly, you’ll find your people go to Lindsey locket.com forward slash circle to join.