Something that’s been coming up for me for a couple of months is the idea of reciprocity in relationships, the difference between transactional and reciprocal relationships, and an invitation to notice how I’m showing up in my relationships with friends, family, and even clients.
The relationships that are the most regulating to my nervous system and that feel the best in my body are reciprocal.
For instance, I don’t take wild plants from the Earth without leaving an offering of tobacco or my menstrual blood or a cutting of my hair in return. I don’t take unless I also give.
My home protects me and provides comfort, shelter, safety, and belonging. In return, I take care of my home by keeping it clean, fixing things when they break, and generally trying to leave my home better than I found it. This is a reciprocal relationship I have with my home.
I have a little land spirit that watches over my land. In return, I leave a gift of salt in the bird bath next to my sauna. I don’t take my land spirit’s protection and presence without also giving something in return.
I bring my best friend paleo crackers, avocados, and lemons when I go to Costco. She reciprocates by giving me eggs.
For the entirety of our friendship, Honor and I bring little things to each other at random times and neither of us ever feels like we’re giving more than we’re receiving. It’s not a spoken arrangement; it just happens.
Reciprocity works without speaking the rules out loud. It’s an understanding, an unspoken agreement I have with human and other-than-human beings. I feel held and nurtured by them, and they feel held and nurtured by me.
This Episode’s Guest
Kat Lee is a Trauma-Informed Spiritual Business Mentor and host of The Empowered Curiosity Podcast. She uses the tools of trauma-informed somatic and emotional alchemy to guide soulful entrepreneurs to approach their business as a spiritual practice. This allows them to cultivate businesses that are rooted in conscious values, ethical marketing and purposeful service.
