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Unfiltered, Real Talk About Over-Functioning

A free 3-video series for women who are done over-functioning — and ready for reciprocity.

You’ve named the systems. You’ve had the talks. You’re still carrying the calendar, the emotional climate, and the cleanup. This series gives you language, structure, and a straight-line path out of the role you never agreed to keep.

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What you’ll learn:

Blame doesn’t rebalance. Naming men, patriarchy, or capitalism explains context; it doesn’t rebalance your relationship.

Over-functioning is a nervous-system strategy that makes a lot of sense in the context of cultural conditioning + childhood experiences. Hyper-responsibility often runs on parentification, perfectionism, and a fight / fawn mix. Naming the pattern lets consequences land and truth surface.

Capacity is contextual. Over- and under-functioning aren’t character flaws. They’re tolerance levels that vary by context — home tasks, emotions, parenting, work. Instead of slapping a the “Under-Functioner” label on someone (which is pathologizing and shaming), we need to get more specific. In what context is someone over/under-functioning? What is their capacity in that context?

Inside the series:

Video 1 — Blame, Consent, & the Victim Stance
In this video, you’ll learn: how over-functioning gets justified by pointing at men and systems, why staying is consent to the current dynamic, what shifts when you claim your part without collapsing into martyrdom or resentment, clear tells that you’re carrying the Relational Web alone, and the first boundary you need to draw.

Video 2 — You’re Over-Functioning & Blaming Him for It
In this video, I get real about the caretaking, remembering, and parenting we women often do for our male partners. He’s never asked us to do it, but we over-function to make up for his under-functioning, then blame him for it. If you’re tired of mothering your man, this is the video for you.

Video 3 — Capacity, Context, Change
In this video, I explain how to start evaluating differing capacities in different contexts (relational labor, emotional labor, mental load, parenting, workplace, etc.) along with practical ways for the over-functioner to resist the quick-fix urge and for the under-functioner to expand responsibility and follow-through.

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And, if you love this video series and you’re ready to take the leap to experiment with doing less, I’ve created a supportive guide to hold you:

Because, let’s face it: you’re doing too much because doing less feels dangerous, unsafe, and wrong.

Check it out

Unfiltered, Real Talk About Over-Functioning

What you’ll learn:

Inside the series:

Safety Note:

Unfiltered, Real Talk About Over-Functioning