When ACTION feels wrong
A nervous system guide helping you take your first brave steps to shifting your nervous system out of underfunctioning and back into safety.
You already know you’re not doing “enough.” Or, so you’ve been told.
You’re dropping the ball on tasks you meant to do. You’re delaying or avoiding conversations you know need to happen. You keep telling yourself you’ll start tomorrow, next week, when you feel more ready — but the readiness never comes.
Maybe you spend hours scrolling, dissociating, or researching what you “should” be doing… without ever beginning.
You feel frozen. Numb. Powerless. You can see what needs to happen, but can’t make yourself do it. You keep hoping that, eventually, the motivation will kick in… and hating yourself a little more each time it doesn’t.
You want to show up, take action, be consistent, engage, but something in your body won’t let you. Action doesn’t feel like empowerment to you. It feels like exposure, danger, or guaranteed failure.
Action feels wrong.If that lands in your body with a lump in your throat or a pit in your stomach, this guide is for you.
Here’s what you’ll learn inside:
- Why your nervous system resists action and how under-functioning becomes a deeply embodied survival strategy
- Why “just do it” advice often backfires for nervous systems stuck in collapse
- How patriarchy, capitalism, and high-control systems condition many people (especially men) to under-function as a strategy of safety, not laziness
- What happens when systemic conditioning meets unresolved trauma in your body
- How to move from shame-based paralysis into desire-led participation
- How to support yourself to make micro-movements and titrate action so it feels safer to your nervous system with 29 low-risk things you can fuck around with
- How others can be supportive of you coming out of freeze/shutdown instead of pressure masked as encouragement
- 10 of the most common beliefs about initiative, motivation, and willpower that might be keeping you stuck
- The difference between the Physiology of Collapse and the Physiology of Authentic Choice
- Why learning to function and reciprocate in relationships might feel worse before it feels better
- Journal questions to help you discern why your body believes action is wrong
- What’s on the other side of underfunctioning
- A list of additional helpful resources if you and someone you love are actively trying to re-patterning your over/underfunctioning dynamic
When you finally stop trying to force yourself into action, you don’t suddenly become lazy or self-indulgent. You begin to notice the places where your body has equated action with punishment, pressure, or pain. You realize your freeze wasn’t a failure — it was protection.
You start to grieve what you’ve missed out on when your body had no other way to feel safe but to disengage.
You do begin to move… but not from fear, urgency, pressure, or guilt. You move from your own authentic desire to participate in your life again — gently, slowly, and with nervous system truth at the center.
If you’re stuck, collapsed, overwhelmed, or afraid of trying again because you’re terrified you’ll fail…
If you have an over-functioning partner who has been nagging you, managing you, or yelling at you to step up…
If you’re ready to be back in integrity with yourself and your relationships by showing up with reciprocity…
When Action Feels Wrong will help you take your first brave steps to shifting your nervous out of underfunctioning and back into safety.
It will not shame you for the pace you’re moving at.
It will not pretend your resistance is a mindset problem.
It will not assume action should always be your goal.
It will meet you where you are — and offer a new way forward that’s not built on guilt, pressure, or performative “doing.”
Download When Action Feels Wrong for just $10.
Or, name your price if you’d generously love to give more.
This is the beginning of a deeper reclamation — of your voice, your agency, your enoughness, and your participation in your own life.
You’re not lazy. You’re not defective. You’re not doomed.
You’re here because something in you is ready to move differently.

