Unlearning the Good Girl Role
A rock-your-world workshop empowering you to stop being the people-pleasing “good girl”, embrace your fierceness, and break free from shame to embody your authentic self.
Wednesday, September 21, 2022
1 pm to 4 pm Central/US on Zoom
*lifetime replay included*
Are you a “good girl”?
Were you expected to be “good” all the fucking time?
Were you told…
- to be obedient and sweet
- to silence your critical thinking and definitely never assert your needs or desires
- to be perfect at everything
- to ignore your intuition and disconnect from your body’s wisdom and sensation
- to sit down, shut up, and cover up because you are female
- that good little girls are always nice, pretty, and never angry?
The Good Girl Role is sneaky as fuck, and we are indoctrinated to be sweet, good girls from birth.
How to know if you’re programmed to be a Good Girl:
- Are you terrified of disappointing others?
- Do you struggle to set boundaries in relationships and at work?
- Do you believe you’re a burden if you set boundaries or express your needs and desires?
- Are you driven by perfectionism and then feel shame when you aren’t “perfect”?
- Do you have difficulty tapping into your sensuality and sexual expression?
- Is there an incessant voice in your head telling you to do more, to over-give, to take care of others without taking care of yourself?
- Do you feel resentful toward people on the inside but smile and keep going on the outside?
The Good Girl Role feels like rigidity in your body.
The Good Girl Role makes you believe that you’re only worthy when you’re “good”.
It distorts your ability to discern and trust your inner wisdom.
It’s often internalized conditioning driven by fear and disguised as intuition.
Except, Good Girls never, ever feel good enough.
Until we become aware of the Good Girl in ourselves, recognize the Inner Critic’s voice that we believe is our own, unpack the shame, and accept and embody our authenticity, we will stay silent, small, stuck, and so damn good.
Hey, I’m Lindsey… and I was a good girl.
I was raised in the Southern Baptist Church in the Bible Belt of West Texas.
I can’t remember a time in my life when I didn’t feel the invisible but soul-crushing weight of wanting to be so sweet, so pleasing, so… fucking… good.
Fundamentalist Christianity taught me that my body was sinful and evil and that my heart was wicked above all things and couldn’t be trusted.
I was told by both men and women in authority that I alone was responsible for covering my body and repressing my sexuality so that men wouldn’t look at me and think lustful thoughts.
At home, I was being raised by a narcissistic, abusive stepfather and a co-dependent, boundaryless mother (who was likely dealing with her own Good Girl).
My survival depended on me figuring out how to be so good that I wasn’t a burden. If I weren’t a burden, then I wouldn’t get hit, I wouldn’t be punished, and I would be pleasing to God, my teachers, and my parents.
I was punished for questioning my stepfather and learned to silence my critical thinking and never question authority.
I truly believed my worth was in my good grades, perfect behavior, and fitting into a certain body type (ie. pretty and skinny).
And later, as a young woman and mother, I believed my worth was found in having a spotless house, volunteering my precious free time at the church, and supporting my pastor husband as a good and godly pastor’s wife.
All of this led to me shrinking and silencing myself for decades because I just wanted to be “good”.
In adulthood, all of this silencing and suppression led to…
- Debilitating perfectionism
- Crippling anxiety and panic attacks
- Total disconnection from my body
- Fear of intimacy and sexual expression
- Fear of taking up space or asserting my voice and opinions
- Hardcore self-criticism and judgment which led to projecting on others
- Covering my body, keeping myself small, and feeling shitty when my body expanded
- Constantly second-guessing myself
- Hypervigilance about my looks, clothes, behavior, how I show up on social media, and how others might see and judge me
Becoming aware of how Good Girl Programming was running my life was eye-opening, to say the least.
I was (and still am sometimes) terrified to step out of that programming — which had become SO familiar to my nervous system that it was safe.
It truly felt unsafe to feel and embody things like…
- Sensual movement
- Intuitive decision making
- Sexual expression
- Anger and rage
- Setting boundaries
- Desire + asking for my desires
It’s been a long journey to notice how deep the Good Girl Programming went, to unpack it, and to embody my authenticity.
Honestly, it still shows up in subtle, sneaky ways sometimes.
Unlearning the Good Girl Role actually required me to recalibrate my nervous system so that I no longer feel threatened by…
- Setting boundaries
- Pursuing my desires
- Asking for what I want in the bedroom and out of the bedroom
- Posting my most authentic truths on social media
- Feeling and expressing anger and rage
- Saying no
- Being naked in front of others
- Working less/not hustling
- Others’ perceptions of me
I’ve teamed up with a former good girl and founder of Healing Embodied, Chelsea Horton, to create an epic, 3-hour live workshop to help you identify and unlearn that sneaky Good Girl Role.
In this 3-hour live workshop, we will be covering…
- What the Good Girl Role looks like in relationship with Self and others, at work or in your business, and how you show up online
- What the Good Girl Role feels like in your body and what’s going on in your nervous system
- Why and how the Good Girl Role develops
- What is needed to unlearn this role and set yourself free
We will guide you through powerful embodiment practices and nervous system work that will allow you to access your power, shift the pattern, and reclaim your authentic self-expression. (Hint: no woman’s authentic expression is the Good Girl!)
The excitement and passion I feel about this topic and helping women un-fuck themselves from the exhausting role of the Good Girl is INTENSE.
As a recovering good girl myself, I want every woman to feel the sacred anger and rage that’s required to activate our fight responses and set ourselves free from this role.
This workshop is what my Inner Child needed to hear when she was expected to sit on the lap of a grandfather who gave her the creeps.
This is what my Inner Teenager needed to hear when she was being controlled by a cult-like religion that put unrealistic and harmful expectations on her simply for being a girl and when she began covering her body out of shame and false responsibility for men’s pervy advances and glances.
This is what my early 20s self needed to hear when I was bending over backward to keep a perfect home and be the perfect pastor’s wife and mother.
This is what my early 30s self needed to hear when I was hustling in my business, believing that I just wasn’t doing “enough” to succeed.
This will be an IN-DEPTH workshop that will definitely shake things up for your inner good girl.
You will be held in a powerful container where you can explore, learn, and create.
Investment for this workshop: $99 USD
The replay will be available to all who register.
Ready to bust out of the Good Girl Role?
Let’s break free!
About the facilitators
Lindsey Lockett is a trauma educator, nervous system coach, and the host of the Holistic Trauma Healing Podcast. She teaches her clients how to tap into the wisdom of their bodies and use their nervous system to heal. Through 1:1 coaching, live workshops, and group programs, Lindsey has inspired thousands of people to speak their truth, set boundaries, and reconnect with the innate wisdom of the nervous system. She lives on 6 beautiful acres of wilderness in Northeastern Minnesota with her husband of 20 years. This former good girl loves skinny-dipping in wild waters, taking naked co-ed saunas, and shaking her booty to some Dr. Dre.
Chelsea Horton is the founder of Healing Embodied and a Board-Certified Dance/Movement Therapist who has supported thousands of people in overcoming anxiety in their lives and relationships. She incorporates embodiment, dance, nervous system work, inner child work, shadow work, and sensual movement into her approach with clients. She loves witnessing people come home to their bodies, break free from their minds, and step fully into their power.